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what should I do?

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what should I do?
timbuktu
12/12/04 at 05:05:43
[slm] I had never seen leather socks, and someone said these are useful for ordinary Tawaaf (without ahraam), so I asked my brother-in-law (my sister's husband, not my wife's brother :) ) to get me some samples. He got them, and when I paid for them, he refused to take money. Now my wife is angry with me. She has this complaint against me that some people (particularly my brothers and sisters and their spouses) are extra kind to me, and do not accept money for things that I ask them to get; and that I cannot force them to take money. This time I got angry too, because I don’t feel and don’t want to feel guilty over such things. She says not to ask people to get things when they do not accept money, and I find it impossible to do everything myself, or to put it on my wife’s shoulders, or to go on arguing with people.

Am I in the wrong for not feeling guilty that my relatives are so generous with me?

What should I do?

On the other hand, because of this inability to keep on arguing, some people like my servant and my driver and those I employ for house construction/ maintenance etc. get away with cheating me, and there too I get the flak.  
12/12/04 at 06:27:55
timbuktu
Re: what should I do?
Halima
12/12/04 at 06:09:12
[slm] bro timbuktu,

If the same brother(s) who not take your money asked you to find something for them and you went bought it, would you want them to pay you back?  They must know that you can pay back and just want to be brotherly.  Hence you can return the favour the next time one of them asks you to get something for them.  No guilt in doing so.  I don't see a wrong if the intention is honest and wholehearted.

Your employees should not get away with cheating you!  If you are paying them, then they should respect you by being honest.  If they are not, then there is nothing wrong in telling them so or even firing them.

My opinion.

[wlm]

Halima
Re: what should I do?
Fozia
12/12/04 at 07:22:26
[slm]

I get this a lot, my reaction I buy them gifts equating to or greater in value to that which has been presented to me. No point in arguing as that causes bad feeling, but reciprocating at appropriate times pleases everybody.

Wassalaam
Re: what should I do?
Kathy
12/12/04 at 12:41:37
[slm]

I have a friend who lives near the City. I had often asked her to pick something up, that i can not get around here. After the first two times, it became apparent she was not going to take any money from me.

Next time I asked her to get something, she, as always, was happy to do it. I explained to her that I can no longer ask her to get things for me, because I felt too bad/ guilty about it.

She understood, took the money.... and then in her gracious way, donated it to the library.

Re: what should I do?
timbuktu
12/12/04 at 21:25:16
[slm] thanks, great pieces of advice
12/14/04 at 09:12:38
timbuktu


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