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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| To hijab or not to hijab |
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| Caraj |
| 12/15/04 at 21:15:27 |
| I was wondering what it was like for re-vert sisters to begin wearing a covering? My heart wants to........My mind says I have no one better to please than Allah. I have never been a flashy 'look at me' type lady. In the past I never wore a skirt (for those of you who read this earlier, bet you got a good laught out of my TYPE-O shirt instead of skirt) above my knees and loved the floor length style. I also love wearing a scarf. So what is my hesitation? I am concerned what my customer will think. I am also concerned what my family will think. I know this is wrong and my concerns should be of what is pleasing to Allah and not humans. Is starting mild (since compared to American standards I was already conservative) Kind of a chicken way out? |
| 12/16/04 at 03:39:06 |
| Caraj |
| Re: To hijab or not to hijab |
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| Stephanie |
| 12/16/04 at 02:19:31 |
| [slm] sis Azizah, I hope everything is well with you inshAllah. For me, the hardest part was the first few times I wore it in front of family and my classmates at the university. For a while it was really difficult seeing people who had never seen me in it before, but alhumdillilah, I'm past that stage now. Realistically, it probably will be difficult at first, but this will pass the sooner you get started. AS for the the "chicken way out" I would suggest starting in any way you feel comfortable, even if it isn't in the full proper hijab. It's better to start and work your way up than to not start at all. I started with the shayla style wraps that I would just wear loosely over my head and loose fitting long sleeve shirts and pants or long skirts. Whenver I would go into a class if I would feel really uncomfortable (people were staring because they were like yesterday she was "normal" and now this) I would just let the scarf fall down over my shoulders and then when I got the courage up I would pull it back up over my head. Certainly not the "proper" way to wear the hijab, and I wouldn't be caught dead doing this now InshAlalh, but at the time it made the transistion easier for me and others. This lasted for maybe a couple weeks at the most and then I went to wearing my scarf in the proper way, completly covering my head and neck and wearing mostly long skirts or abayas/jilbabs. Also, I've seen revert sisters start by wearing a bandana, or tying the scarf back like a doo rag style, or just letting like half their hair show. Start how you feel comfortable and by Allah's will, you will get stronger and more confident in your dress. Also, even though it was nerve racking, when I first started wearing it I also felt so proud and strong, like the first time I walked into a store and could be known as a Muslimah...mashallah. [wlm] :-) |
| 12/16/04 at 02:22:25 |
| Stephanie |
| Re: To hijab or not to hijab |
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| Laila_Y_A |
| 12/16/04 at 15:28:16 |
| [slm] Years ago, when I was studying about Islam, I knew I would be Muslim, but wearing the hijab was going to be a problem. Not because I feared family or public reaction, but because (now do not laugh!! :D ), as a young girl, whenever I had to wear a headscarf (you know- fussy Mom not wanting us kids to catch cold in the winter! ::) ), I gagged at the knot under my chin! How would I EVER be able to wear a hijab pinned under there and survive ! :'( I decided, in January of 1992, to try hijab-- made a couple triangle scarves, put one on and went to see my "mentor" and his wife (she did not wear hijab). It was a blessed moment, for I never ONCE gagged from the scarf at my throat, and the following days it was the same! I have been out of hihjab, and have returned, and always the same. No problems, only quiet sense of calmness and peace with my choice. The next month, February 20th, 1992, I said shahada, Al-hamdulillah! :) [wlm] :-) Laila |
| Re: To hijab or not to hijab |
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| Marcie |
| 12/16/04 at 19:38:09 |
| [slm] Sister Azizah, One of these days I need your address, so that I can send you the package! ;) Here's my story. I was MUCH younger when I started wearing hijab and did not realy think about it when I started. I was going to a sisters' meeting and assumed that all of the sisters would be wearing hijab. I put it on in my appartment, but took it off, because I looked like a nun. :-* When I got to the train station my friend made me put it on. Af course at the meeting there were all sorts of sisters, but on my train ride home I decided that I did not want to go back and forth wearing it, so it stayed on. Was I mentally prepared for it you ask? NO! :P Almost fifteen yaers later I am still wearing hijab, al hamdu lillah. Has it always been an easy road? NO! :P But I have also met some wonderful sisters, because I wear the hijab, al hamdu lillah. A very good friend of mine also started wearing the hijab and she wasn't ready for it. She used to shove it on her head and would cry before going outside. She stopped wearing it and resumed wearing it when she was ready. What a difference the second time around, masha' Allah. Insha'Allah, when you are ready, it'll feel right to you, regardless of whether it is a gradual approach or you jump in the water feet first without using your braincells like myself. Please know that we are on your side and we are with you no matter what happens in your life, insha'Allah. :-X [wlm] Love, Your sister in Islam, Marcie :-) |
| 12/16/04 at 19:40:08 |
| Marcie |
| Re: To hijab or not to hijab |
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| Muchacha |
| 12/29/04 at 20:37:44 |
| Salam Azizah I have battled the whole “ hijab issue” as a convert myself. I have gone from wearing no hijab to becoming a full jilbaber, to a head wrap and so on and so forth. Shatan constantly plays with our heads! Not soo long ago, I was considering taking it off on job interviews. What helps the most is constantly reminding myself that everything in this life is from Allah! What is the use of having any success in this dunya if we are not living our lives with the ultimate goal, pleasing the creator? Constantly vigilance is easier said than done; as flaky convert # 305 I know all too well how hard it is ;) Trials and adversity are a part of being a believer so keep ur ultimate goals- in this life- in mind and inshallah u will have the strength to make the right decisions. Ma Salams.. |
| Re: To hijab or not to hijab |
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| selah |
| 12/29/04 at 23:54:38 |
| Dear Sisters, My question is this: When my 18 year old daughter goes with Wasim to Lebanon this summer to meet his extended family, will this be expected for her to also wear a scarf while there, and if so, how often will this be that she will need to wear it? Wasim mentioned something about this, as the subject came up based on the fact that she (dd, ie daughter) was for about an hour one day, taking her winter scarf (we live in a cold state in the US) and trying different ways in which to wear the scarf like a "hijab" It was very interesting to observe her attempting to do this, wether it be just out of curiosity or she seriously wanted to figure it out, I am not sure. :-) Wasim indicated to me that his Mom could show her how to do this:) I thought that was really sweet. Once again, thank you all for your replys, this is a facinating journey~ ~Selah~ ;D |
| Re: To hijab or not to hijab |
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| Thinker |
| 01/08/05 at 09:43:29 |
| [slm] Dear sisters, and sister Azizah in particular, (funny thing I live with a converted girl called Azizah as well) Anyway, me myself am a part-time hijaber. I wear it around my husband, since we are not living in the same country and usually I visit him, this does not give me much problems. In Holland I wear it only when going to islamic meetings or at bad hairdays or 'I got to hurry and just prayed'moments. Still I feel unsatisfied, but my family will be extremely hurt if I would start wear hijab in front of them, and to be all the time scared that they will see me with hijab, I cannot live like that. People talk. My parents do know I am muslim, but think I am one of the more 'feminist' types, which I kind of am, but hijab is no question to me. I never been able to explain them that, though. Incha Allah, one day they will understand! |
| Re: To hijab or not to hijab |
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| muslima |
| 01/14/05 at 05:51:26 |
| :)alsalamo 3alaykom wa rahmt Allah wa barakato sister's i'm new here and i would like to share in this topic , i will say about how i hve be hijabed , when i was child i said to my mother that i want to wear hijab she said to me ofcours wear it and i was first soo happy , but what has happened that when i was going to my school i found my friends looking at me with strange look and strated in saying to me you haja and think's like that i was sad from that , so i went to my mom and said to her will it be haram if i have took of my hijab ? she said no you could take it off as you are still child then i took it off , but when i was older in a day my mother was speaking with me about hell and the paradise and what will happen to the people in their graves i becamed soo afraid that i took a hijab and i have wear it immediatly and from that time and i'm weraing it untill now i'm now 21 and i was i think 13 and alhamd lallah i feel that it's a part from me and i couldn't ever go out without it , that i was thinking one day could i took my hijab off and go out , i found myself replying it could never happen inshaa Allah and if i did it i will feel that i'm strange between people without my hijab ,and i remmeber when i was in my school that a boy told me i respect the hijabed woman's too much and i heard that from alot of people , and it's really right that the hijabed women is respectable woman mashaa Allah , yes i'm now Alhamd lallah wearing hijab and full jilbab Alhamd lallah and i advice any girl want to wear the hijab to wear it , yes it may found some difficults first as devil will try to stopp her but by the time you will love it and you will found yourself more relaxed with it , sorry i wrote alot , may Allah light our hearts by the light of iman , and gather all of us in the fardws ala3la beside our beloved prophet the prophet mohamed (s.a.w) and to drink from his hands a drink that we will never become thirsty ameeen ya rab :-) |
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| Re: To hijab or not to hijab |
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| theOriginal |
| 01/15/05 at 01:07:23 |
| [slm] Muslima I love your posts...they're like one giant sentence packed with so much wisdom, mashaAllah... :) I don't know man...I struggle with hijaab...even today. Like for some reason my brain does not want to wrap itself around the idea. Or maybe it's my heart that can't wrap itself around the idea? I'm not too sure about it, it's one or the other, but not both. Anyway I don't want to take over the thread, because hijaab is fardh, no two ways about it... however I tend to think that it is such an overly emphasized issue in our community today, that sometimes its entire purpose seems lost. I have philosophical qualms with be automatically identified to anyone I have a conversation with. They have an edge over me, simply by knowing a little bit about how I want myself to be represented. And I'm not just talking about non-muslims here. In fact, I think I'm talking almost entirely about our muslim brothers and sisters. I hate to be branded as anything by these people. Because frankly, even though I have a very conservative view on everything (most obvious when I talk to my family), I think I'm the most open-minded person I know. That's nt a contradiction, if you think about it. And that's not, in any way, a good thing...but I'm predisposed to give others a HUUUGE margin of error. This often results in me being VERY hard on myself, which in turn means I end up second-guessing my views. All this was a much bigger issue when I was teenager...I recently found a stack of things I've written in the past, and I feel sorry for the person I used to be :) But Alhamdulillah, one of the blessings of being an adult is that you can drown yourself in responsibility and stop thinking so much. Anyway, this whole philosophical struggle...all of it...comes down very nicely to the metaphor of the hijaab (the physical scarf). Maybe all it takes is to stop seeing it as a struggle, but then I lose the part of myself which makes me ... well me. If you actually read all of this, thank you for listening to the diatribe. Wasalaam. |
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