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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Guys how do i get the man i want? |
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| IslamLover |
| 01/06/05 at 10:45:18 |
| Hiya Brothers and Sisters in Islam, Assalam Alikum I have jus recently joined the forum and this is my first message so i dnt know how it is going to sound but here goes anyway...................................................... Recently i hav started reading namaz as i knw tat it is beneficial for me and it also pleases Allah Tala but lately my life has really changed and so i guess i need Alllah more then anything right now. The thing is since Feburaray 2004 i havent been very healthy and i hav a stomach ulcer which makes me feel sick all the time and i hav been worryin so much abt my health i have an appointment on 28/01 cos they are goin to put a camera down my stomach so plz pray 4 me as i so nervous. Also in June i started liking a guy who isnt really a close related cousin but i would call him a cousin anyway i like him cos he is religious and tat is the main reason i like him and the fact tat he has a nice family and a nice mother. But i want him 2 knw tat i am interested wat can i do to let him knw without makin a fool of myself? I hav been talkin abt it to a few people and everyone says tat i am a nice person and tat they hope i get everythin i want in life cos i deserve it but i jus dont knw wat to do and its really gettin me down, my life is a mess at the moment and i need some advice on how to cheer myself up be4 it gets worse? Could u plz pray and make duas 4 me 4 my health and happiness inshallah Jazakallah :-X :( ??? |
| Re: Guys how do i get the man i want? |
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| theOriginal |
| 01/06/05 at 12:03:47 |
| [slm] First off, let me commend you on your efforts to make salah. MashaAllah. It encourages me to take more care of my prayers when I see other people's conviction with this most, most important ibadah. This is how I see it: this "man" should probably be extremely low on your list of priorities at the moment. Here's why: 1) Marriage is a matter of fate. You will only get married to the guy if and only if Allah ta'Ala wills it. You should concentrate on making duaa right now. That WHOEVER you marry will keep you happy, secure, and most of all, will help increase you in your imaan. And may Allah swt grant you a very amazing husband, inshaAllah. The important thing is that you get married to a good guy...it is not all that important to marry THIS guy, even though it might feel like that right now. 2) Ulcers are caused by stress. Personally, I think worrying too much about this guy would cause more stress...and you want to take care of yourself. Seriously, ulcers are a scary thing...take care of yourself physically, psychologically, AND emotionally. 3) You might think your life is a mess right now. A guy usually isn't the best solution to this. He could be, but don't depend on any guy, and in particular, this guy to fix the problems in your life. That's too much of a load for anybody. As far as letting him know that you're interested, I would suggest you tell your parents. That way, they can offer you the realistic barometer that you will need to continue with this situation any further. Also, they need to stay informed. It won't work out otherwise. Good luck with your tests (endoscopy?), inshaAllah. Wasalaam. |
| Re: Guys how do i get the man i want? |
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| resistance4ever |
| 01/07/05 at 08:04:51 |
| [slm] You must be commended for turning to Allah (swt) in a time of need. About your stomuch ulcer, my wife suffers from it also. The advice to her is simple, she needs to avoid spicy, and acidic foods such as lemon and oranges. The spices and acid dont go well with stomuch ulcers and often will make you ill. As for your crush on this guy, its nothing much. We all go through it, its the image of this guy that you have created in your own mind which makes him seem irresistable in your eyes. In reality, although it may sound harsh, i say just put him out your mind, and get on with life. A guy/girl is certainly nothing worth getting yourself down over. You just end up in a cycle of self pity and sorrow and end up throwing away months of even years of your life, only to deeply regret it later. [wlm] |
| Re: Guys how do i get the man i want? |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/08/05 at 00:43:38 |
| May Allah help u inshAllah to get stronger in ur deen. May Allah make your health better inshAllah. About this guy, i don't agree with the two other posts. you will not get over this guy just by having ppl to tell you to get over him. the best thing to do is to find a married sister whose husband is friends with this guy. you need to trust this sister that she will not go blabbing this info to other ppl. tell her ur interested in this guy and if her husband can approach him in a way that is sublte like asking him if he knew any good brothers looking for marriage for one of his wife's friends (ahem, that would be u). if the brother is interested in marriage he will recommend himself. another way is to get an auntie that both families know really well to approach his mom in an auntie way, similar to above situation. the auntie can tell his mom "yes, i am helping my beta so and so to get married, do you know any good boys for her", etc....if mom is interested than she will offer. make istikhara prayers and ask Allah to do what is best for you. You will rest better after knowing the answer from his side either way i am sure inshAllah.... |
| Re: Guys how do i get the man i want? |
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| bhaloo |
| 01/08/05 at 01:49:54 |
| [slm] Anonymous ??? What was that? Anyways, I say take JustOne's advice, its excellent, alhumdullilah. |
| Re: Guys how do i get the man i want? |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/10/05 at 23:45:24 |
| sorry, i just read what i wrote and i didn't mean to say to ignore what the other two sisters said about everything, just the part about not doing anything about the "crush". For a lot of peoople, things will keep bugging them until there is closure, and the only way she can get closure is to persue this in the correct manner to lead to marriage. |
| Re: Guys how do i get the man i want? |
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| Caraj |
| 01/12/05 at 02:19:17 |
| [quote author=JustOne link=board=madrasa;num=1105022718;start=0#1 date=01/06/05 at 12:03:47] [slm] This is how I see it: this "man" should probably be extremely low on your list of priorities at the mom 2) Ulcers are caused by stress. Personally, I think worrying too much about this guy would cause more stress...and you want to take care of yourself. Seriously, ulcers are a scary thing...take care of yourself physically, psychologically, AND emotionally. 3) You might think your life is a mess right now. A guy usually isn't the best solution to this. He could be, but don't depend on any guy, and in particular, this guy to fix the problems in your life. That's too much of a load for anybody. .[/quote] I second this advice. Let me tell you first hand, take this advice, take care of your health, try to relax and stop worrying (which I admit is easier said than done and a HUGE AMEEN to JustOne's #3 You will be in my prayers. |
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