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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Menopause? |
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| Anonymous |
| 01/08/05 at 00:40:57 |
| ssalaamalaikum, i think my mom is menopausal. she's very angry, sad, and emotional all the time. physically, shes lethargic, she can't get out of bed somedays. she cries about everything. and she gets angry at my dad a lot. and my brother tends to have flying chappals passing by his head every few days. but he's also the only one who can make her laugh, so its ok. its hard to watch her cuz she has always been so energetic and peaceful. and ive never seen her complain as much as she does nowadays. its not so bad because we all giver space, and we know she had to put up with a lot in her life. for some reason she's voicing everything now. the problem is that she yells at my dad. not only at my dad about him, but at my dad about his ENTIRE family and everything since they've been married, AND MORE. it gets very scary, because my dad is the most gentle man ever, but sometimes he ends up getting very angry too. i have never seen him get angry but in the past few months he's lashed out quite a few times. i told my mom that she might be menopausal, but she yelled at me for that :) (it's a little premature) so i thought i should tell my dad that she might be menopausal so he could try and be nicer to her, but i have no idea how to say it to him. plus he keeps doing things that would be very annoying to me if i was in her position, so i understand her point of view. for some reason, none of them are willing to compromise at all. he still loses everything and makes her find it. and he still calls his entire family over on very short notice and makes her cook for them. i've tried talking to him on these issues separately but he had his own list of complaints: he doesn't mind her family coming over so why does she mind his (mom's family is always over), she only cooks when we have company. this probably explains why all these paternal relatives who i've never even heard of before keep showing up at our house!! my mother sometimes says really mean things to him and it hink im concerned cuz a lot of women go to hell cuz of how they treat their husbands. anyway, i was just wondering if anyone has gone thru menopause cuz i'm sure thats what it is since its so wierd for her to be like this, or if a loved one has...to offer me some advice on how to best help her. medication or anything? also, islamically are there any duaas i could say, or my parents could say to make this easier? thank you. |
| Re: Menopause? |
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| Laila_Y_A |
| 01/08/05 at 13:51:59 |
| [slm] Yes, your Mom could be what is known as peri-menopausal, that is the times before actual stopping of the menses. It is a time of hot, and cold flashes, mood swings, physical changes, etc. It can also have within this period the onset of depression, which can manifest itself in the very same problems your Mom is exhibitiing. Either way, take her to a Dr. that is knowledgable of, and willing to work toward helping women going through this. Menopause is a natural part of life, but neither your Mom, nor the rest of the family need suffer through it. There are natural remedies that work well to alleviate these symptoms- do a quick but intensive study in the library or internet to see what is available, make a list and take it with Mom when she goes to the Dr. Be well prepared with a list of symptoms, when they started, and if you ( the family) notice particular times it is more intense than other times. Any information you can provide to the Dr. will be valuable to the treatment of your Mom. I hope this helps your Mom in some way, and helps the family understand what is happening to her. [wlm] :-) Laila |
| Re: Menopause? |
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| Sparrow |
| 01/08/05 at 16:21:49 |
| My mom was an absolute MANIAC when she went through menopause!! Take heart that this too shall pass :) As already mentioned there are loads of remedies. Hormones did not work for my mom though, they actually made her worse. Instead she took herbal remedies, got plenty of exercise, did yoga, and learned to talk about how she was feeling, which I think took some of the emotional pressure off. good luck! Sparrow |
| Re: Menopause? |
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| Caraj |
| 01/12/05 at 00:54:16 |
| GEE Sisters ::) you sure have me looking forward to this time. So does this mean that at anytime with no warning I can just go NUTS ??? To the anon poster, I imagine this is a scarey time for you seeing your mother like this. Could be the peri-menopausal time FindingLaila mentioned. Could be your mom and dad had an arguement you are unaware of, or other hormone inbalance. Us mothers even though we get in our tissy fits at times, we never want to hurt or worry our kids, so appeal to the protective mom in her, tell her that her behavior is so not like her and is worrying you. Also pray and be extra nice, help more around the house while she is dealing with whatever it is she is dealing with. |
| Re: Menopause? |
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| Kathy |
| 01/12/05 at 08:26:18 |
| [quote author=azizah link=board=sis;num=1105159257;start=0#3 date=01/12/05 at 00:54:16] So does this mean that at anytime with no warning I can just go NUTS ??? [/quote] Gee... I already do.... ;) May Allah swt have mercy on my hubby! Hmmm... maybe it is payback for his early years in our marriage.... :-/ :-[The other night I had a dream that all these young babies wanted some 'milk' I kept shooing them away saying it was too late! I think my body is telling me the factory is shutting down.... :'( |
| Re: Menopause? |
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| ummnajmah |
| 01/12/05 at 11:18:22 |
| [slm]I can relate my mother went through this earlier that her time because she opted to have a surgery to remover her uterus after having fibroids.She also decided because she had enough kids already alhamdulillah. We would have to fling open the windows coz she was hot :D. Her moods were like a yoyo , all over the place :o, but alhamdulillah a friend recommended some kind of herbs and now she is doing just fine :).I would reccommend having a talk with your dad and explain to him that all of you need to be patient with her. Then pick a good time to sit down and talk to your mom, don't let her anger deter you from explaining to her that this is something that is affecting her and thus affecting all of you. Before this talk As one of the sis suggested do your research, give her the details on this and ask her to get some help ,because you love her and you are worried how all this is affecting your family and most especially her. [slm] :-) |
| Re: Menopause? |
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| muslimah853 |
| 01/12/05 at 21:09:29 |
| [slm] I think there is also the possibility that this isn't related to hormones at all. Not knowing more about your mother and all, obviously I can't say. But I will say that as a mother myself, most of the time mothers carry around intense emotional burdens and as far as their children are concerned, they are fine--but that's just what everyone sees. Inside there is alot going on that doesn't always come to the surface--and it might be years of everything's fine and she reaches a point where she explodes and it seems like it's coming out of nowhere--but it's been building up for a very long time. She may have been carrying around anger and stress for many years and maybe now it is getting to the point where she simply cannot hide it any more. Sometimes that happens. Allah knows best. I hope that Alah eases her heart and makes everything easy for all of you. |
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