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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Job Vacancy - Parent |
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| Fozia |
| 01/15/05 at 10:59:50 |
| JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic enviroment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organisational skills and be willing to work various hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES: This is for the rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs £5 to go skating. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat, in case, this time, the screams in the garden are NOT someone crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zips. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organise social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of half a million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you. PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required....unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holiday and no stock options are offered, job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, and free hugs for life if you play your cards right. |
| Re: Job Vacancy - Parent Upline |
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| SuperHiMY |
| 01/15/05 at 11:26:53 |
| Yeah, I tried that [url=http://www.amquix.info]Amway[/url] deal once too. |
| 01/15/05 at 11:32:57 |
| SuperHiMY |
| Re: Job Vacancy - Parent |
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| Bangachi |
| 01/18/05 at 18:53:14 |
| You forgot to mention the great pension plan and retirement benefits.... The grandchildren who adore you cause mom and dad are not as fun cause they won't give them 5 quid for skating. |
| 01/18/05 at 18:58:35 |
| Bangachi |
| Re: Job Vacancy - Parent |
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| Halima |
| 01/19/05 at 06:56:35 |
| [slm] All, I would like to wish good luck to the aspirants who have no choice anyway unless you definitely don't want to be parent and if you don't, you will miss all the joys and rewards that go hand in hand with all the trials and heartaches. Bangachi Posted on: Jan 18th, 2005, 6:53pm [quote]You forgot to mention the great pension plan and retirement benefits.... The grandchildren who adore you cause mom and dad are not as fun cause they won't give them 5 quid for skating. [/quote] Adorable grandparents! My youngest son who is now 14 said two years ago: "I will marry, have two kids and then my wife and I will go to America for further studies". My response: 'Honey, that is good but who will take care of your kids?' Without hesitation he answers: "You of course Mum, who else?" Then I said: 'Oh yeah! Honey, gone are the days when grandparents took care of their grandkids. I will be on a cruise ship at that time, INSHA-ALLAH. So you and wife better make another plan when the time comes'. And he said: 'Mum, no grandparent can resist a grandchild!" I didn't have the strength to fight a loosing battle. So, I gave up. Hence, the job description does not end with parenting as Bangachi says. It is a lifetime job if you are lucky to see your grandchildren. [wlm] Halima |
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