Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

A R C H I V E S

16 things it took me over 50 years to learn!

Madina Archives


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

16 things it took me over 50 years to learn!
jannah
01/30/05 at 17:17:16
Subject: 16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist


1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.


2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would
be "meetings."


3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."


4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.


5. You should not confuse your career with your life.


6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I wish I
had!)


7. Never lick a steak knife.


8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.


9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight savings time.


10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.


11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make
a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.


12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.


13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)


14. Your friends love you anyway.


15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.


16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . They start out as
grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they
turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Re: 16 things it took me over 50 years to learn!
Kathy
01/30/05 at 20:09:09
LOOOOOLLL
These were too funny... You know a joke is funny, if you are all alone, in the dark, at a computer, and laugh out loud!
Re: 16 things it took me over 50 years to learn!
Halima
02/01/05 at 02:42:39
[quote]2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." [/quote]

Especially when you have to sit through the reading of the minutes of the previous meeting before you even started the current one!

[quote]4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.[/quote]

I have experienced this myself with those Christians who walk around preaching.

[quote]5. You should not confuse your career with your life.[/quote]

Many people have done this and found too late that life is more important.

[quote]15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.[/quote]

Very true.  Professionals tend to be over-confident and cocky!  And they  don't admit when they are wrong.

[quote]11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21. [/quote]

Oh yes!  Not important anymore.



Re: 16 things it took me over 50 years to learn!
siddiqui
02/02/05 at 08:34:12
[slm]
17.Gluttons can become anorexic ;)

18.spice enhances the flavor of fruit :P

[wlm]


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
A R C H I V E S

Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.
The rest © Jannah.Org