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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| University - Should I move out? |
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| Anonymous |
| 02/09/05 at 18:49:16 |
| Assalemu Alaikum Sorry if this is in the wrong group but I thought that this one is the best to post this question on. I have a problem that I would like you to help me on. I am a 18 year old girl and I am studying my A levels and would like to go to university to study Medicine but the problem is that the course that I am hoping will offer me a place is very far from my home. I really want to do this course and become a doctor but I would like to know is it ok, if I move out and live on my self and study. I know I will not do anything wrong or against Islam but is this ok? It will be helpful if you lot can post some ideas. Thank you. |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| Caraj |
| 02/09/05 at 21:06:48 |
| I don't see why not. But I would think you should talk to your family about this and see how they feel. Other ideas is visiting the area of the University and getting to know the local Muslim comminity and maybe see if there is another sister studying with whom you might could share a rental with. When my sons first moved out I strongly requested they share their first apt. It made mom more at ease. 18 is so young, they may ask you to delay such a plan for another year or two. Talk to them about it with ideas and options and compromises. Best Wishes |
| 02/09/05 at 21:08:14 |
| Caraj |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| timbuktu |
| 02/10/05 at 07:33:25 |
| [slm] It depends very much on what sort of pressures you will face at the University, and what sort of person you are. Islam does not allow women to travel alone where they might be at risk, and the Universities have been centres of promiscuous behavior for a long time, as long as my own, which was thirty years ago. When I first went to University, I was 17, but it was in East Pakistan, and altogether I did not fall into bad company. But when I went to Britain, at 20 years of age, I found even that tolerant society pulling me towards drinks, dances and sex. I did maange to hold out for four years but the separation of East and West Paksitan shook me to such an extent that I accepted a drink from a friend. It was downhill from that until I sought refuge in Allah. Seeking knowledge and becoming a doctor, are noble aims, and I support you in this, but you have to look at yourself very hard, and tell yourself that no matter whatever the temptations and whatever the failures in life, you will not give in to unIslamic ways. Should you fail to live up to your promise to yourself, don't be disheartened, for Allah (swt) is very, very, forgiving, only we shouldn't count on it as we do not know when our hour will be up. Which University are you thinking of joining? |
| 02/10/05 at 07:36:32 |
| timbuktu |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| peaceful |
| 02/10/05 at 19:54:53 |
| [slm] I am the one that started this post with my question. This is Anonymous because I could not register to the site but, it let me do it today. :D Thank you both for answering my question, with your ideas. Ths university that I have a interview for is Southampton University for Medicine and I live in north of England and this is way down south. I have been rejected from my other closer university because medicine is very hard to get in. I am talking to my parents about me moving down and I also have a friend that has a interview like me down there so hopefully we will both get in and can stay together. I have been living in England most of my life and I know there is influence to bad but to this day I have not done anything bad e.g drink or dance etc. And I believe I can keep this up and my friend is also a strong Muslim. Azizah I could wait few more years but because medicine is a very long course in total (5-6 years) it would be quite differcult because it will mean I will finish studying at 30ish which is quite late. I will be visiting the university with my brother and sister on the interview to see the place. I was really worried that islam doesn't allow female to live alone and this is why I really wanted to get this question answer. If anybody else have their views then please post Thank you. |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| timbuktu |
| 02/11/05 at 12:06:07 |
| [slm] Traditionalists will refuse to let you stay alone in the University. If you have a female Muslim friend who also gets admission, it will be OK, I guess. http://www.islam-qa.com will propbably refuse. After all, KSA doesn't let women drive. http://www.islamonline.net will probably accept my view. I regard getting education, and in fields like medicine, a must, a farde kifaya. All my own sisters have had to study or work without the accompaniment of a mihram, and we have accepted this as a necessity. One of my sisters is a medical doctor who studied for her MRCP in Britain, without a Mihram. To me the more important part is your determination to seek help from Allah (swt), and your own inner strength to resist the loneliness, the temptations, the slurs, the need to fit in, and sometimes the disappointmet in your grades, which do come in the way of a student. And they can be very, very hard to resist, let me tell you. I am not trying to dissuade you. I want you realise how strong you will have to make yourself. Make it your niyyah to help your sisters who may otherwise have to go to male doctors for diagnosis and treatment. May Allah (swt) help you and may you become a renowned and established doctor of medicine, plus of course succeed in the more mundane of life's requirements. aameen :) |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| asad |
| 02/11/05 at 22:26:27 |
asalam,its always tough making choises in life,ask your parents,see what they think,if they dont like it,respect their judgment.i dont think its cool for a sister to live alone. All i can advise you is make istakhara,we all got a destiny right,and Allah knows whats good for us and whats not,so just ask Allah |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| peaceful |
| 02/15/05 at 20:36:46 |
| [slm] asad and timbuktu thank you for your replys. Asad you have talked about destiny in your reply. But won't you say that it is destiny for me to move out since all the university I have applied that are near home have all rejected me and the one far has considered me? Thank you again for your post |
| 02/18/05 at 17:30:31 |
| peaceful |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| asad |
| 02/18/05 at 10:57:11 |
| [wlm] peaceful whats happning? look i cant tell you whats in your destiny or not,and dont ring up mystic meg ider :P if its ment to be then it will be,islam says no to certain things why,not because islam doesnt want you to have a good time but because there bad for us,bad for our deen do you get what im saying |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| peaceful |
| 02/18/05 at 13:06:45 |
| [slm] Asad when I asked if it was destiny I didn't really mean for you to answer it. I know that nobody can tell me my destiny ;) About the things Islam forbids, I'm not really questioning it just wanted to know if Islam will let me go to university and stay, this is not that I can have fun but to study. Believe me if I could stay at home then I would! Looking at all the reply I recieved from this site and other it looks like I can move out and go to university. Correct me if I'm wrong? |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| asad |
| 02/18/05 at 16:34:34 |
| sorry 8) so i wish you all the best for what ever you go for just make sure you make mushoora before hitting on a idea asalam |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| Mossy |
| 02/19/05 at 10:58:13 |
| Get your parents permission and also make sure to make contact with the islamic society of the relevant university. Southamptons' one can be found at www.sotonisoc.com for example, I'm sure they'd put you in touch with sisters who are studying to be doctors - there are a number in most med programs and I've seen a number of hijabis (no niqaabis, but I've heard of some..). |
| Re: University - Should I move out? |
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| peaceful |
| 02/22/05 at 06:59:21 |
| [slm] Thank you Mossy for the site. I will attempt to contract if insha Allaah I recieve a place at the university after the interview. Thank you asad thanks for the well wishes. |
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