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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Taking responsibilty for new sis? |
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| Anonymous |
| 02/17/05 at 14:18:56 |
| Assalamu alikum bro.s and sisters I just wanted some advice on an issue. Can an unmarried bro. take responsibility for an unmarried sister (new convert) with a view to helping her but no intention to get married as he feels she does not suit him as a wife? The sister has told the bro. that she is alone in a certain part of US and needs help. The bro. was initially thinking of marrying her but has now chnaged his mind. The sister has told him that she is getting 'stressed' and may even convert back to Christianity. The bro. is scared and wants to help her to move to his country (Arab state). Can he do this in Islaam? The issues that concern me is her intention, and what happens to her once she moves to a 'muslim country'. I think this may lead to additional problems. Please advise. |
| Re: Taking responsibilty for new sis? |
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| amatullah |
| 02/17/05 at 16:53:06 |
| I don't think that moving to a muslim country will solve the problem. She needs a support friend especially Muslims where she lives. In fact if she moves she may learn culture and not nec. religion and what about when she comes back? Will she not be able to "be" a Muslim if it is not a Muslim country? I think she should contact sisters (women) in her area. |
| Re: Taking responsibilty for new sis? |
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| se7en |
| 02/17/05 at 21:58:34 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, hmm.. the fact that the brother was considering marriage to the sister means there is some type of emotional involvement between the two, which makes the brother really unsuitable to take on the position of 'caretaker'. and I don't think moving her to his homeland would benefit her..it may even exacerbate her problems, considering that she'd be in a country where not only is she alone, but a foreigner. I agree with sis amatullah, that probably the best thing for the sister is to have someone she can really talk to. it doesn't necessarily have to be a sister in her area, but someone who would be willing to really befriend her, communicate with her via phone or email and be a source of support. if the brother has a sister or female cousin, or someone he knows that can do this for her, I think that would really be helpful for her. may Allah make things easy for them, wasalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah |
| 02/17/05 at 22:00:09 |
| se7en |
| Re: Taking responsibilty for new sis? |
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| Caraj |
| 02/18/05 at 01:47:47 |
| I totally agree with the sisters above. 1) He would be putting himself and her in a possibly bad situation by bringing her to his country since he has not desire to marry her. I think it is asking for big trouble. 2) If he is not going to marry her, then she needs to hook up with sisters in her area. I am not asking, but the questions that comes to mind is Has he told her he decided not to marry her? Why has she not hooked up with a local Muslim cummunity already? |
| 02/18/05 at 01:49:20 |
| Caraj |
| Re: Taking responsibilty for new sis? |
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| Caraj |
| 02/18/05 at 17:10:21 |
| [quote author=se7en link=board=madrasa;num=1108667936;start=0#2 date=02/17/05 at 21:58:34]as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah, hmm.. the fact that the brother was considering marriage to the sister means there is some type of emotional involvement between the two, which makes the brother really unsuitable to take on the position of 'caretaker'. and I don't think moving her to his homeland would benefit her..it may even exacerbate her problems, considering that she'd be in a country where not only is she alone, but a foreigner. [/quote] Also bringing her to another country, after considering marriage might give her false hopes of a marriage with you in the future. She may read into it things that are not. Your words and your actions must coinside as to not give mixed signals. No marriage and not moving here = Done deal marriage and moving here =Done deal But no marriage but let me help you move= MIXED SIGNALS |
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