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Hajj, Umra, and emotions

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Hajj, Umra, and emotions
chocolate
03/31/05 at 22:35:12
[slm] guys,
I am doing a biography report on my grandfather who traveled many places and is very very religious. But he is also not very talkative. I know that many of you brothers and sisters went to Makkah and Medina a while ago, and for many of you, it was the first time. I am writing about how my papa saw it for the first time. He said he had an inexplicable feeling of inner peace, and at the same time, joy. Can you guys tell me exactly what emotions or thoughts were going on when you saw it or went there or entered the mosque in Mecca for the first time? My grandfather just TOLD me the feelings, but not WHAT he was feeling...  :-/on account of his untalkativeness and.... I have found  out the hard way that most men ;-) don't EXPLAIN their emotions as much as women  :-)::)
  So can any sister, or brother ;D help me out here? HOW did you FEEL? i Know that you probably had excitement, anticipation, and for some people inner calm.   ??? It is probably a little different for each individual, but I would greatly appreciate if you could tell me, not only for the sake of the bio, but also cuz I love reading exciting things as this. :D

Jazak Allahu Khairun! :)
-sis choc. :-)
Re: Hajj, Umra, and emotions
Trustworthy
04/01/05 at 20:09:20
[slm]....

I’ve never known my grandfathers, but I have a brother that when you ask, what was Hajj like?  He’d answer “It was good.” And that’s it.  Now he preaches to me all the time when before it was like do whatever you want, it’s your life.  

But I went to Hajj in 2000.  Let me tell you it was an overwhelming feeling of emotions beyond emotional feelings anyone could ever feel.  I don’t cry much, but I was so emotional, let me tell you this is probably where they got the phrase “cry an ocean of tears”.  You go on living life like it’s just life, no big deal or it’s a great big deal but never think of the One (SWT) above much.  You know your rules and you practice and obey, but really think nothing of it.  

Let me tell you, living my life the way I lived it, I did think of the Great One (SWT) above and really think something of it growing up until…..I went inside the Masjid and witnessed the Ka’aba.  I felt so weak and so small.  I was humble.  My heart was so still, I swore it wasn’t beating and I’m so sure I wasn’t breathing.  Everything was still in the House of Allah (SWT).  The floors were shining white.  The air was glowing and it was so silently peaceful.  I was alone with Allah (SWT).  Even though I did not see Him (SWT), I felt so welcomed by my Lord.  I felt the presence of Angels all around me even though I was by myself.  I heard such a sweet voice greet me with Salam.  And what were only mere seconds seemed like infinity.  I did not want to move from my spot because I couldn’t move because I did not want to.  

I knew that Allah (SWT) existed, but when I saw the Ka’aba, His (SWT) existence hit me like this huge relief.  All the rules and reasons and stories you’ve been told by older people and from reading the Qur’an and knowing your hadiths was like the world has been lifted from my shoulders.  In the seconds of standing there, I found out the answers to life and the true meaning of jihad.

I did not realize the people crowding me, literally crowding me, that my husband yanked me back into this life so hard, I had whiplash for 3 days straight.  It wasn’t painful then, but when I realized that I was back in this life, I balled my eyes out until I couldn’t see because my eyelids were swollen shut.  My cousin who went with me was so shock to see me cry, she finally figured out I was human too.  

Then I heard the adhan and I cried. Then the Imam recited so beautifully, I cried some more.  Then I went to see the Prophet’s (SAW) cave and I cried again.  Then I went to see where he (SAW) stood on his last night of prayer and I cried some more.  Then I stood on that hill and made duas and really cried this time.  Then I went to see the Prophet’s grave and Ali’s and Aisha’s and yup, cried through it all.  Then I went to see his (SAW) Masjid and cried some more, then I wanted to go throw stones at the Shaitan but they wouldn’t let me because I was pregnant so I got mad and cried a little bit cause I took it out on this street vendor that was standing at our hotel.  Then I wanted to see Prophet Ibrahim’s (PBUH) feet and they didn’t take me there so I got mad for a few seconds.  Then I wanted to go pray all night at the Masjidal Haram (Ka-aba) but they did not want to disturb my sleep so I got mad.  So then we went to Pizza Hut because I was hungry, but the men wouldn’t serve me (they turned their backs on me) because I wasn’t with a mahram so I got mad some more.  Then I walked away and I’m sure they had a boy send me some pizza.

But everything there was halal so I ate all the KFCs and Burger Kings and McDonalds and pepperoni and sausage pizzas that my pregnant stomach can handle even though it took 3 days for my stomach lining to change from breaking down all those chemical foods to breaking down all the natural foods.  Then we went shopping at the nearby mall and Asr prayer came and the whole world was at a halt.  All of my Muslim brothers and sisters gathered around to pray.  The whole world was in prostration to the One (SWT) that deserved it ONLY.  Everywhere I turned, the women were covered and the men friendly, lowered gazes, and helpful.  Us women were treated like princesses and we were taken care of no matter where we went.  It was so……it was real.  I did not want to leave.

I need to go back and this time not get mad at anything at all and then live there in my old age, Allah (SWT) willing.

Allah (SWT) bless….

Ma-assalaamah……
Re: Hajj, Umra, and emotions
safa
04/05/05 at 13:24:06
[wlm]
I just want to clear something here.
Despite what people might think, not everything in ksa is halal.
Chicken and mutton is mostly either imported from Australia or New Zealand or France, or if its from KSA, its machine slughtered.
(U can verify that in the market.)

There are very few restaurants that serve hand slaughtered (halal) chicken and mutton. U'll have to go looking for those. And, needless to say, Western fast food chains are not amongst those.
04/05/05 at 13:32:56
safa
Re: Hajj, Umra, and emotions
safa
04/05/05 at 13:59:11
[slm]
Oh, and as for my experience in the Haram...
I was born and raised in ksa, so i have had the opportunity of performing Umrah every Ramadan or so, but every time i see it, the sight of the Kaaba never ceases to make me lose my breath.
And my parents have moved to Madinah now, so when i was in the ksa for my last vacations, i had a truly awesome time praying nearly every Maghrib, Isha and Fajr prayer in the Prophet's Masjid .
Praying at the Haram during the off-season is really amazing, its nearly empty, with just the locals praying, and truly serene and calming.

As for my Hajj experience, i was 13 (the previous time, i was just a kid). We were accompanied by our relatives from all over ksa and from india and it was great. But i am really looking forward to doing it again, because i didn't really understand the significance of everything i did the last time.
And i also remember the fire breaking out in the tents in Arafat and everyone running like crazy. We lost all our clothes and stuff in the fire (we just had time to grab the money and documents and run). The next day - for Eid, I remember us buying some really flimsy clothing (which i wouldnt have been caught dead wearing in ordinary circumstances), as it was all they were selling there. It really brought the signifance of Eid home. A truly humbling and memorable Eid.  
Re: Hajj, Umra, and emotions
chocolate
04/10/05 at 21:42:47
[slm]
sorry for the delay in replying,  :P
but thanks :) !

-Sister Chocolate


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