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Dealing With a Feminist Wife!

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Dealing With a Feminist Wife!
05/01/05 at 18:41:49
[color=Red]Caution:[/color] Read at your own risk, if you are filled with haya upto ur neck. (Some parts are childish)

[size=3]Dealing with a feminist wife.[/size]
(By Commander Hard2Hit)

With the growing trend of feminism among Muslims, many women and their lotas are wanting similar rights as that of men and their lotas respectively. In this obsession they dont consider the fact that men and women are 'equal' but not 'similar' (theres a difference, a big difference!).

For instance, a woman's lota must be smaller and some shade of pink. But these feminists just dont get it, they want exact same lota as that of a man and I find its very weird. Like men use bigger lotas coz we eat like horses and excrete like hippos. Why would feminists need such a big lota when they starve themselves to death to get thin?!

Like they do have the right to use lota, nobody is denying that. But no, they want more, an exact same lota as that of men. Weird!

And it doesn't end at that. These feminist want to do a whole bunch of crazy things to become similar to men. Things like leading salaah, declaring hijab to be bidah, supporting Irshad Manji etc... Well to have similar rights as that of men they can even grow chin hair, for all I care, but such customs are going to create lots of problems for their husbands in the near future...

A poor man can end up living with a feminist wife due to following reasons:

a) You married her in times of your jahaliyah and your views have changed now.

b) She used to have a good head on her shoulders before marriage. Then one day she met Irshad Manji who offered her two lotas, a blue one and a red one... She accepted the red lota and Manji took her to the world of feminism.

c) You yourself are a dimwit who longs for the day when men would be able to get pregnant.

This brings up a need to formulate some guidelines for such poor men so that 1] they get saved from being squished by such feminazi wives 2] their offspring be saved from becoming social outcasts by watching their dad getting his arse whooped by the manly wife.

So, how to keep a feminist wife happy?

* If she insists on leading the salaah, let her. And afterwards repeat your salaah.

* Give her bi-weekly beard massage. (for a super feminist who doesn't know where to stop in her craze to be similar to men)

* Get a big poster of Irshad Manji and nail it on your bedroom's wall. (shes a role model of most feminists)

* When she goes out wearing revealing dresses then as a Muslim its your responsibility to not let people lust at her. To do that you must dress a degree less than her to make people look at you instead. For instance if she wears butt-hugging jeans and short-body shirts, you should wear a skirt above your ankles and a sleeveless blouse.

* Be at her service If she calls you for an intimate relationship even if you are cooking in the kitchen. (feminist would prefer spending their time in [i]baet-ul-potty[/i] dreaming about a world with female rulers, rather than cooking in the kicthen)

* Welcome her gay and lesbian friends with open arms. (but it'll be a bit tricky not to let those gays lay hands on you, just keep a good pepper spray handy)

Happy kissing up...
05/01/05 at 18:43:21
05/03/05 at 13:43:43

A little odd.

I don't know too many Muslim women who think Manji is cool.

I'm a feminist, but then so is my brother.  It's not about being spastic about gender's about being responsible for gender EQUITY..

I'm really sorry about this one, but it wasn't funny at all.

feminist wife
05/04/05 at 01:35:15

that was pretty obnoxious.

i'm definately not a feminist, i'm a guy. but if you expect to be treated right you really should treat others -- particularly the other half of society how you  want to be treated. I.e. realize the hadith

"none of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother/sister what he wishes for himself"

applies to your sisters as well.

i don't quite know why it is, but muslim guys seem like such cavemen so often.  if that acted with any modicum of sense and decency then nobody would bat an eyelid about irshad manji, and others.

if guys  really believe that they are "a degree"  above women because they protect them physically and monetarily -- then they would ensure that women's rights are protected.  But no!! they cannot even fulfull that most basic responsibility.  

05/05/05 at 03:04:08

I swear I know you from somewhere?  It's your dry humour routines that keeps me wondering.  But I have such a bad memory with people and names so ....oh well.

To your post:

1. Who is Manji?
2. What is a lota?
3. What is wrong with being a feminist?  Now mind you, there is a difference between Feminine feminist and Masculine feminist.  I'm for feminine feminism where us Muslimahs fight for what is rightly, equally for us.  Not for this masculine feminism crap where women fight to be leaders of salaat.  There is a reason why we were set to pray behind men and not along side them.  I mean how much Khushu' do you think I will have, if any, if I was praying beside my husband who just came out of the shower smelling like my favorite cologne?  And vice versa?

Allah (SWT) bless...


Down with Feminism.
05/05/05 at 07:36:45

[i]-- JustOne: “I'm a feminist, but then so is my brother” [/i]

Do muslim women have rights? Sure they do…

Are their rights violated by both men and women? Sure they are…

Should we stand for our sisters in deen and protect their rights? Definitely!

But why am I ‘all’ for giving women the rights that are islamically theirs? The answer is because I value Islam over cultural taboos, hence my religious doctrine is the driving force behind my activism for women (islamic) rights.

So, does that make me a feminist? Those who easily accept concepts that are fed to them by the majority would say ‘Yes’ but I think that does [i]not[/i] make us feminists! The popular muslim feminism entails a lot of anti-islamic crap; who are the famous muslim ‘feminists’ out there? What do they believe in? Most of them, especially the famous ones, are anti hijab, are pro revealing dresses, are brainwashed for making women ‘similar’ to men by leading salah etc.

If we, the practicing muslims (inshaAllah) who are eager to work for giving women the rights that are islamically theirs, label ourselves with that word, then it would be like (indirectly) associating ourselves with and hence (indirectly) supporting the ‘widespread’ set of actions that feminism entails, which is inane.

Another opinion:

“The feminists say that women should be free and independent, never relying on any man. So the message men extract from this is that now they can have as many lovers as they want and never have to be tied down to one woman ever again. Consequently, a woman who dates can expect to go from man to man for twenty years or more before she can succeed in tying one down in marriage. And now women have to dress even more alluring to attract men, and have to work harder to keep them around lest the "roving eye" spots another, younger, prettier catch. Women, as polls have shown, are more harried, stressed and suffering from acute eating and other disorders than ever before.

Feminists say that all spiritual traditions are male-oriented and have worked to keep women down. While this may be true in the case of Christianity, Hinduism and Judaism, these feminists have no knowledge of Islam. All they see is the stupid, chauvinistic cultural traditions of backward X ,Y or Z Muslim country and they equate that with the teachings of Islam. Then pseudo-scholars from the West quote ayat and Hadith out of context and paint a picture of a barbaric religion which seeks death for all.” -- Yahya Emerick ([url][/url])

[i]-- JustOne: I'm really sorry about this one, but it wasn't funny at all. [/i]

Different strokes for different folks.

[i]--Hyper: “i don't quite know why it is, but muslim guys seem like such cavemen so often … nobody would bat an eyelid about irshad manji” [/i]

I think you are wrong, please expound that statement so that I could be enlightened as to how you would deal with the likes of Irshad Manji?

Internet is a medium that is mostly used by teens. To save our youth from this fitnah we, the so called religious muslims, must formulate and put up our answers in the cyberspace. Otherwise the popular anti-islamic feministic crap out there will make them succumb to it.

There are different ways to answer it, I opted for making fun of them which isn’t all that wrong in my book.

[i]-- Hyper: “But no!! they cannot even fulfull that most basic responsibility.  ”][/i]

Please click this link=> [url=][color=Blue]My short answer[/color][/url]

[i]-- Trustworthy: [/i]

That girl irshad manji is the muslim version of clay aiken, but she loves females more than he does.

And you don’t know about lota?! Man am I speechless or what! Lota, my sis, is one of the most important necessities of a desi’s home. So for a toilet experience of your life… try *drumroll* … [url=][color=Blue]The Lota[/color][/url] <=Click the link

05/05/05 at 07:57:41
i hate typing subject headers
05/05/05 at 09:43:54

Ahhh I JUST figured out who brother Hard2Hit is.  InshaAllah I hope things are going very well for you.   :-X

Anyway to the point: I think it really depends on how you define the word "Feminist".  Like I said, my brother is a feminist, and he admits it openly, which I admire beyond telling.

Unfortunately, cultural taboos DO prevail in today's day and age, and that is why we need constant reminders that women were only treated as human beings AFTER Islam enterred the picture.  What is the point of being Muslim if you can't remember the message of a whole, collectively, inclusive of the whole women's equity thing?

As for Irshad Manji, she's not a feminist, per se.  She's homosexual and she wants to find a way to mesh her lifestyle and Islam.  Read: Fitnah.

I guess what put me off on your post was the whole Irshad Manji thing.  Because she's an irrational person.

05/06/05 at 04:29:57
[quote] But why am I ‘all’ for giving women the rights that are islamically theirs? [/quote]

Everybody says that, but what does it mean?  The All-India Muslim Personal Law Board recently ruled that

(1) divorced women do not have the right to maintenance except for a period of 3 months after the iddat period.

(2) the triple talaq system - where a dude says "I divorce you" thrice at one time is halal and is a valid method of divorce.

Unfortunately this not very nice attitude toward women's rights is not uncommon. This version of women's rights is essentially equivalent to no rights at all.  

Another thing: it is very distressing that the only women standing up for women's rights are the nutters.  Jannah once explained that the reason the more religious women always have socks in their mouths is because their religous family don't appreciate their speaking up.  It's hard to believe that, but I only know my 3 kid sisters.

05/07/05 at 02:09:52
05/06/05 at 10:09:37

JustOne who is he?

BTW I think that hard-core feminism as a theology is antithetical to Islam. It just doesn't apply. The problems that Muslim women have are just not the same problems non-Muslim women have. See Dr. Umar's brilliant lectures on women in Islam.

If we are taking about rights of women and men, and equity I would say in our tradition the prophet [saw] was the ultimate "feminist" in that he was for the upliftment and education of women and was always for giving them their rights.

Unfortunately it seems like some people mix the message of equity of women with this hard-core feminism and eventually use it to take away women's rights or continue the current status quo which IS oppression of women's rights in most Muslim countries in the world.

So we really need to be clear on what is right and what is wrong and examine what "feminists" say to find what is right and wrong, instead of condemning them outright. Because if we never address the right then they just gain converts to both their right and wrong.

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