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The case of the disappearing box of chocolate

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The case of the disappearing box of chocolate
timbuktu
05/29/05 at 08:21:07
[slm]I took the chocolate test yesterday.

Before I announce the results, let me first explain what this test is. I am sure the medical profession hasn't yet discovered this simple yet convincing test for old age, for my wife and my sister are both medical practitioners, and my sister is a specialisit in problems of old age, and I haven't heard of this test from them.

My hypothesis was this: [i]If a person has desire of and can eat as much chocolate as he did in his youth, he isn't old[/i].

This looks fair enough, but surely something is missing. So I inverted it, and came to the hypothesis that [i]a person grows old when he stops eating chocolate in the same quantities as in his youth[/i].

That is much better, I am sure you will agree.

I am growing old, there is no doubt about that. I have the sysptoms: Forgetfulness. Insensitivity to what matters, and sensitivity to what doesn't. Degradation in hearing, sight, reflexes, etc.

But the question is: is it genuine old age, or one induced by reduced intake of that elixir of life - chocolate?

So, yesterday, after posting my reply to brother bhaloo on miracle foods, I decided to take the test.

I will let you in on one of my secrets. I buy chocolate in bulk, from the wholesale market. For a start, wholesale shops give you a discount of around 10%. Now 10% more chocolate for the same amount of money cannot be bad, can it? But the worrying thing is that ever since I introduced my children to the joys of chocolate, my stock runs down much faster than I can replenish it. We all used to accuse each other of gobbling up the bars.

I would say to my wife: "where is the box of 20 bars that I put in the fridge last night? It is morning, and it was gone while I was sleeping. Must be your daughter."

My wife would flare up: "what do you mean, my daughter? Isn't she something to you, too?"

Before I can answer that question, my daughter would chime in: "and I didn't eat it, honest mama. It must be you, papa. You are always nibbling something or the other, mostly that something is chocolate."

Now that isn't right. I don't remember any of us ever replying back to our father. Must be the genes introduced by this outsider, my wife. I mean she isn't a blood relative, so she is from the outside, right?

My main shortcoming is honesty. So I let my wife know of my views on whose fault it is that our children actually reply back to their father.

My wife mumbles in anger, something to do with being always the one to be blamed.

My daughter isn't ready to let go, either. She insists that it was I who stayed awake last night, and hence must have eaten the chocolate while she no longer has any time to watch TV, as she is tired out after her classes, and then her projects.

This opens up new topics for hot discussions, but I am not ready for WW-III, and besides the case of the disappearing box of chocolate hasn't been solved yet.

I have quick thoughts on this one. Where chocolate is concerned, my mind races faster than the winning car in the Grand Prix.

"It must be your son", I accuse my wife.

She is up in arms over it. "Don't say anything against my son", she says, "that poor boy hardly ever eats anything you bring". Why are mothers so protective of their sons?

"Boy", I taunt her, "when will you mothers let men become men. He is now 24, how long will he remain a boy".

"He will always remain a boy to me", says my wife, haughtily.

The son is in his room, away from all this turmoil, no doubt enjoying the remnants of the chocolate that is no longer in the fridge. For as another proof of his guilt, let me tell you he always locks his room. Now why would he do that, if he weren't smuggling my chocolate and consuming it?

After a while, the door opens, and my son comes out.

"What was all that about?", he demands to know.

"Did you eat that box of chocolate in the fridge", my wife isn't one for finding things out subtly and through psychological analysis of answers. I mean would a sensible investigator go straight out and ask a suspect if he were the one who stole the goods. You don't find such crude investigations in Guantamao Bay, or Bagram or Abu Gharaib. They are masters in psychological techniques. Perhaps the US army or the CIA can introduce a course here for educating housewives into getting the truth out of their sons.

"No, I didn't. But papa was watching the cartoons, and he was eating peanuts and chocolate togepher".  He bent and picked up a peanut from the carpet. "Here is one peanut he dropped while eating. And the wrappers for the chocolate and the peanuts are in the dustbin in that corner", he said.

"And you are the only one who eats peanuts and chocolate together", say my wife and my daughter triumphantly, while looking at me with lethal eyes.

My son shook his head, and went back to his room. Then I heard the click of the lock.

Oh well, you can't win all the time, I thought, and started my computer.

That, or a book, and I am away in an impermeable world. Plus did I mention one gets hard of hearing in old age.

Old age has its compensations. :)
05/29/05 at 12:49:05
timbuktu
ooooh
theOriginal
05/29/05 at 09:14:19
[slm]

Very entertaining :)

I musta been born old.  I cannot eat too much chocolate.  And I've never been able to.  I love the stuff, but I think once you've eaten truffles off the street at the Rive in Genève chez la vendeuse chocolat....you kinda don't appreciate other chocolate as much.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know when you'll get the sharaabi one.

haha...just kidding.

Wasalaam.
Mr. Willy Wonka
bhaloo
05/29/05 at 11:20:23
[slm]

There is only one course of action you have Timbuktu, and that is to buy some more. ;)  It must be difficult to aquire quality chocolates in Pakistan?  Do you have a favorite brand?  Are there local brands?  

I was reading about the largest chocolate fountain in the world, its located at the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas.  Can you imagine it, a fountain flowing with liquid chocolate?

My favorite chocolates in order are lindt, symphony, and cadbury milk chocolate and the cadbury fruits and nuts one.  I haven't experienced too many varieties of choclates, hence my choices for favorite ones may not seem all that spectacular.

[quote]
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know when you'll get the sharaabi one.
[/quote]

:o  I've noticed that the more expensive chocolates tend to have alcohol in them.
..-
theOriginal
05/29/05 at 12:04:23
[slm]

[quote]It must be difficult to aquire quality chocolates in Pakistan?[/quote]

Dude...Pakistan isn't the modern equivalent of living under a rock.  We actually do get all sorts of things here.  Including foreign chocolate :)

Wasalaam.
of foreign chocolates and cheeses
timbuktu
05/29/05 at 12:52:56
[slm]
Oh, Swiss chocolate, and Danish Blue cheese, I agree they are in classes of their own.

I am one of the luckiest persons on Earth. Although I haven't been out of Pakistan for more than 25 years, my in-laws and siblings have been flying and staying in places like Laos, Thailand, Nepal, Bangladesh, India, UAE, Turkey, UK, and the US. They have been supplying me with shirts, sweaters, cheese and chocolates from these places. They know the last two are my favorites, and well, they like to shower me with gifts.

Ages ago, BP had a wonderful brand; it went out after the loss of East Pakistan.

[quote]Dude...Pakistan isn't the modern equivalent of living under a rock.  We actually do get all sorts of things here.  Including foreign chocolate[/quote]

Very succintly put! :) My way is a lot more winding than this. This is what I had written to post:

Pakistan was always a heaven for foreign goods, you only had to know where to get these things from. In recent years, the suppliers of foreign goods have spread to many places. No shortage of quality chocolate now.

Cadbury's have started manufacturing their milk chocolate in Pakistan, but their nut preparations are imported. And their milk chocolate from the home country is available, together with the local one.

Toblerone is freely available, although there is a chance of a no. 2 being in the market as well.

And many, many more.

[quote]a fountain flowing with liquid chocolate[/quote]

wow! It is almost worth a trip to the US. I used to dream of Jannah with chocolate trees, having chocolate braches and leaves, and chocolate  bars as their fruit.

I can understand the alcohol-bearing chocolates being more expensive. I have had access to honey and mint chocolates, but I haven't come across alcohol ones here. Maybe I haven't encountered them because I have not moved in [i]enlighteningly moderate[/i] circles, which are all the rage these days.
Laal Mirch Chocolate
bhaloo
05/29/05 at 16:10:31
[slm]

I just got back from the grocery store, they had a deal on those big chocolate bars, 5 oz. ones for a $1 a piece!  All the cadbury milk chocolates were gone except for a dark chocolate variety, so I bought it and tried, it tastes pretty good.  

I would imagine one would have to buy the imported foreign chocolates in Pakistan to get the real deal.  The reason I say this, is because foreign products that Pakistan has tried to make just don't taste the same.  For example, 7up, Coke, Pepsi, taste very different in Pakistan as compared to the imported cans from Dubai and the ones in the US.  

Has anyone ever tried chocolates with spices?  I've heard they do that in South America, and it seems like only something natural that would be done in the subcontinent.


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