A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Advice badly needed |
|---|
| Caraj |
| 06/05/05 at 18:15:55 |
| Salaam All. I am really torn inside about something and wish nothing more than to make things right. I have been asked to humbly bow out. I belong to another board of a farming type. One of the members husband unexpectantly died with no insurance money and 3 children. Many of us donated items to be auctioned to help this widow. I was delayed in shipping items due to unexpected events and personal issues. I apologized and began to make things right. I needed to ship out 15 things and shipped out 7 in 2 days time. The lady was becoming indignate to me (The mod handling the auction) I apologized on 2 or 3 occations and finally became aggitated and told her to back off, I was at my stress level. She contiuned, I continued, etc etc. She banned me from the board and I emailed the Admin who unbanned me. He has now requested I don't send anythung more, they will refund peoples money and asked that I humbly bow out. 1) It will look like I am the bad guy and people will not know I was asked not to ship things. 2) The focus should be on the widow, this will take money from her. 3) People will lose the joy of wanting to help by bidding and buying items. I have emailed her and asked her forgiveness and for us to look at the main issues of helping another and put our personal issues aside. One contact from her she called me an idiot, and made many false statements. In my heart I feel I should send peoples stuff out anyway as I have more ready to send. It is what I feel is right in my heart, it is not to be derogatory. I feel she is being uncompassionate of my personal issues that delayed my shipping, decided to make this a personal issue and will hurt others. I made a commitment and which to fullfill it. Mods here, I would love Jannah, Kathy and Bhaloo's opinion along with others. Please, please, please. I feel so terriable about this. But I have been asked not to send things. The people who already got their items love them, some want more. This does not benefit me at all, as I have donated them and I have even paid for the shipping myself. Please let me know what you all think. I think the admin asked me to humbly bow out and not talk of this issue to others on the board cause the mod threaten to quit. He mentioned about it not being good for the auction if she quit in the middle of it. I think he made this request cause she (the mod) is having a childish temper tantrum and threaten to quit. |
| 06/05/05 at 18:19:15 |
| Caraj |
| Let it Go |
|---|
| Sparrow |
| 06/06/05 at 08:04:49 |
| Hi Azizah, Having been in a similar situation recently my advice would be to let it go. As you said, this is about the auction; if one mod has asked you to bow out, I would do so gracefully, and simply ask him what you should do with the items you have not shipped. He said he was going to email people and refund money, so he will also presumably include some sort of general explanation to people; I doubt he will let people think you simply decided to keep items as your own personal booty. Also, from what you have said, the bottom line is that the items did not go out in time; regardless of the reasons, the moderators needed everyone to perform according to how they had volunteered to do so; sending items late may have really messed up their schedules on the other end. What I am saying is, things got messed up, you apologized and said you would make it right. They have declined that offer. There is nothing more you can do, so allow them the courtesy of their own emotions. If they are angry, let them be angry. That's their right. To apologize overmuch and insist on helping when they have asked you to bow out just continues to create drama and take the focus off the widow and auction. Just one girl's opinion. Hope it helps!! Peace, Sparrow |
| sigh |
|---|
| Caraj |
| 06/06/05 at 12:43:48 |
| Yeah, I decided that is what to do after thinking about it over the week-end. Just so you all know, we are only talking 3 to 4 weeks. It was not like it was 2 to 4 months. I did send nearly 1/2 the stuff out. This is stuff I made and donated so there is no keeping 'the booty' myself. I need to stop trying to offer, accept and do to much. Has been a fault of mine. Everytime I try to do something nice, something seems to come up. The mod at that board made it a personal thing. She also made the decision after I sent out 7 things in 2 days. With confirmation numbers and all. The mod angry will be the one messaging people. Not the main person. My son says I always thing with my heart and not my mind and that is my problem. I meant well and I got things going. It's their choice. |
| Advice badly needed |
|---|
| onemuslimgirl |
| 06/06/05 at 18:09:07 |
| I think you should send the remaining things with a note explaining why things are delayed. than, email the mod and the admin, and tell them they are welcome to refund the ppl their money if they want, but that the items have been sent. than leave the group. |
| I agree with Sis OMG... |
|---|
| Trustworthy |
| 06/06/05 at 18:33:28 |
| [slm]... I agree with onemuslimgirl. You should send the gifts anyways and email the mods that you did it because it should be understood that you are not UPS or FedEx or Speedy Gonzales and you are doing this because you feel that this was needed and is important to the widow. This should not be focused on the person having the tantrum which seems like that is the case for her to only be part of it. It would be wrong of the mod and the board to take that money away from the widow and give back to the people. What's a donation, auction or whatnot, if it's being sent back. It's not like these things are done for profit or the intention of getting some materialistic thing by giving charity. How does that even work? You can just tell her to chew your butt all she wants because when you eat something, it just goes in on one side and comes out the other. Ha ha ha.... Probably a good idea is she did leave the board being so selfish like that. Good GRIEF Lady. Allah (SWT) bless... Ma-assalaamah..... |
| what to do what to do |
|---|
| Caraj |
| 06/06/05 at 19:58:21 |
| Ever come across a situation where one hour you think... OK I will do this then 4 or 8 or 12 hours later you think....NO I will do that? ahhhhhh sweet confusion and stress. I spoke with Sister Kathy about this issue when her and I were talking on the phone yesterday. She also feels like me, I made the commitment, fullfill it regardless of what another is doing. I think the money has already been refunded. I'm thinking about running down to Walmart, getting some..'I'm sorry' cards. Putting the extra item with the card in the packages Like I did with the first 7. Then including a little note saying this: I was asked not to send these due to what I believe was in the middle of a personal conflict between myself and another, But I felt fullfilling commitments and sending them was the right thing to do regardless of any personal conflict. Our hearts and minds should be focused on**** (widow) So here it is, enjoy and if you feel it upon your heart to do so, please send the widow the money direct. I'm very sorry for the delay. Enclosed is a little something for your patience. What ya think? No mention of who the conflict was with. Just to the point, here it is, if you still wish to donate please do so. It's to the point, non dramatic and fullfills my commitments. And yes I am leaving the group. |
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board |