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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| PEACE of Advice.... |
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| Trustworthy |
| 06/09/05 at 15:00:45 |
| [slm] Warah-Mutullaahi-Wabarakaatuh I was reading Bro Timbuktu’s thread about Selling Fish and realized that my anger is noticeable and I know it. With this realization, I have come to the conclusion that I need to get away to calm myself down. Sometimes I think I go too far with my anger because sometimes I read too much into the question asked and let me tell you, there are such things as stupid questions. Stupid questions deserve stupid answers. I pray as much sunnah as I can….I guess I could pray more, but I don’t know what’s wrong with me now a days. I get irritated so easily and I don’t mean to, I just am. I can control my outbursts most of the time, but it’s like holding back emotions so if someone hits your last nerve, you just go berserk on them. That’s what happened with my cousins. I could’ve done it in a more not put a hole in your Aunt’s home way, but my irritation just got the better of me and them. I used to be so patient when I was younger, but then I prayed sunnah a lot, I mean I hit every single one and then some all night witrs and tasbeeh. And I read the Qur’an, memorized the surahs and their meanings. I used to be so patient no matter what people said and who said it, I was able to debate with them and my voice would never raise above theirs. Now I find them irritating and irrational and stupid most of the time. When I debate, my voice is as high as theirs and when someone raises their voice at my Imam or does something or makes some kind of remarks to my Sisters, I’m almost in there face. This is why I don’t bring my daughter with me when doing da’wa because I don’t want her to see that side of me because I know it’s wrong. And what is da’wa if you’re shoving it down someone’s throat. The only excuse I give myself to make it ok is that, they deserved it. If they can call my Prophet (SAW) a murderer and yell at my Imam and make fun of my Sisters, well they have another thing coming so they deserved it. I used to say it’s because I’m passionate about these things, and I am no doubt, but I know it’s more than that now. I can take offense and defend my deen in a more rational way and less in your face. I guess what I am trying to say is that, I will be going away from the board for a few days to find reflection back to my old patient self. The one that isn’t steamed all the time. I’m thinking two weeks would do it. Finals will be done next week and my Uncle and Aunt is back. So …. I believe it’s the Shaitaan trying to win me over. Like I’m ever going to let that happen. So I’ll be going away from the board to battle Satan and his followers so that I could have peace. I will start my journey on Juma’a day, tomorrow. I will be on and off the board until then. But after Friday, I shall not return until I am free from the Satanic emotions. I will be on here today looking for some PEACE of advice, but will return after in 2 weeks or so. Maybe less if I get myself together sooner. “Please lose not heart of me if a wound has touched you Cause all that I want for you is peace Let us strive for the best towards our future For I pray of it to be this way through all eternity” I pray the best for you all and hope you find the peace that we all need within ourselves and each other. Ameen. Allah (SWT) bless…. Ma-assalaamah…… |
| Salaam |
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| Caraj |
| 06/09/05 at 17:14:00 |
| Sis, :-) My heart goes out to you. I too have issues with anger at times. The world is becoming a harsher place more so each day. However I do believe we can be our own worse enemy's We get angry or vent or spout like a volcano. Sometimes justified, sometimes not. I believe we need to learn to forgive ourselves. I think Satan loves it when he sees us beatting up on ourselves cause he knows the longer we do this, the more we are sad, misrable and also that is time focused off Allah and Allah's mercy. If you pull away from brothers and sister who can encourage you, Satan will be happy too. Anytime he can take your mind and heart's focus off Allah and things that are right and good I believe this thrills him. Forgive yourself and move on. Talk to someone on the board in private who you trust. Maybe your Iman (did I spell that right?) maybe an olders sister who you have admired in your community. If you don't forgive yourself and learn, grow and move on the EMENY wins that struggle cause you are not relying on Allah's forgiveness and mercy. (((((((HUGS)))))))) |
| 06/09/05 at 17:16:13 |
| Caraj |
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