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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
~ The Gene Puddle ~ |
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thezman |
06/10/05 at 03:55:36 |
Bismillah [slm] These are taken from real resumes and cover letters, and were printed in Fortune Magazine: 1. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details. 2. Received a plague for sales person of the year. 3. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions. 4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave. 5. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades. 6. It's best for employees that i not work with people. 7. let's meet, so you can "ooh" and "aah" over my experience :-/ 8. I was working for my mom until she decided to move. 9. Marital Status: single-unengaged-uninvolved-no commitments. 10. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail ;D 11. My goal is to be a meteorologist, but since i possess no training in meteorology, i suppose i should try stock brokerage. 12. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant 13. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a midwest chainstore 14. Note: please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "Job-Hopping." I have never quit a job! 15. Personal Interests: Donating Blood Fourteen Gallons so far. 16. Marital Status: Often Children : Various S-e-x : Frequently. 17. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers. 18. References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me. This is why they're out sourcing jobs to other nations ;) Fi Amanillah Ziad. |
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