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~ The Gene Puddle ~
thezman
06/10/05 at 03:55:36
  Bismillah

   [slm]

  These are taken from real resumes and cover letters, and were printed in
Fortune Magazine:

1. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

2. Received a plague for sales person of the year.

3. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

6. It's best for employees that i not work with people.

7. let's meet, so you can "ooh" and "aah" over my experience :-/

8. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

9. Marital Status: single-unengaged-uninvolved-no commitments.

10. I am loyal to my employer at all costs...
    please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail  ;D

11. My goal is to be a meteorologist, but since i possess no training in
    meteorology, i suppose i should try stock brokerage.

12. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant

13. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a midwest chainstore

14. Note: please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "Job-Hopping."
    I have never quit a job!

15. Personal Interests: Donating Blood
                               Fourteen Gallons so far.

16. Marital Status: Often
    Children         : Various
    S-e-x            : Frequently.

17. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

18. References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

    This is why they're out sourcing jobs to other nations  ;)

Fi Amanillah
Ziad.  


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