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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| ~ Disorder In The Court (Hilarious) ~ |
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| thezman |
| 07/02/05 at 18:53:56 |
| Bismillah [slm] These are real questions and answers from various court proceedings that were compiled in a book called, "disorder in the american courts." 1. q- what is your date of birth? a- july 15th. q- what year? a- every year. 2. q- this myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? a- yes. q- and in what ways does it affect your memory? a- I forget. q- you forget? can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? 3. q- what was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? a- he said, "where am I Cathy?" q- and why did that upset you? a- because my name is Susan! 4. q- now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? a- did you actually pass the bar exam? 5. q- the youngest son, the twenty-year-old..... how old is he? 6. q- were you present when your picture was taken? 7. q- so, the date of conception...of the baby...was august 8th? a- yes. q- and what were you doing at that time? 8. q- she had three children, right? a-yes. q-how many were boys? a- none. q- were there any girls? 9. q- how was your first marriage terminated? a- by death. q- and by whose death was it terminated? 10. q- can you describe the individual? a- he was about medium height and had a beard. q- was this a male, or a female? 11. q- is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? a- no, this is how I dress when I go to work. 12. q- doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? a- all my autopsies are performed on dead people. 13. q- all your responses must be oral, ok? now, what school did you go to? a- oral. 14. q- do you recall the time you examined the body? a- the autopsy started around 8:30p.m. q- and Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? a- no, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy! 15. Q- are you qualified to give a urine sample? 16. q- doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? a- no. q- did you check for blood pressure? a- no. q- did you check for breathing? a- no. q- so, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? a- no. q- how can you be so sure, doctor? a- because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. q- but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? a- yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere! Fi Amanillah Ziad. |
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