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Many Questions
GrannyT
07/12/05 at 19:43:14
I am brand new to your board and I have to say up front that I am not Muslim.  I joined your board because I have a lot of questions regarding your faith and the similarities/differences between Christianity and Islam.

In no way, shape, or form do I intend to cause hard feelings or insult anyone.  If I ask a stupid question, it's only out of wanting to know the truth and not because I'm trying to insult you.

I have been interested by Islam for many years and my first contact with a Muslim was nearly 25 years ago.  This was a caucasian female who had married a Middle Eastern man and had converted.  I had no idea why she covered and why she wasn't even allowed to be uncovered around me.  It wasn't as if I were going to have any unnatural feelings toward her but I respected her actions and never questioned her.

My next contact came when the Sally Field movie "Not Without My Daughter" was shown on TV (I don't remember when that was) and I was again struck at the discipline the male figures in the family exerted over the females in the family.

Then, about 10 years ago I happened upon the books by Jean Sasson and was very shocked at some of the things I read.  I understand that not everything you read in print is probably not true, but how do we know what is truth and what is not?

Since 9/11 I know Muslims have suffered endlessly with hate crimes and discrimination.  I don't understand any of it; the suicide bombers, the actions of the terrorists, or the retaliations.

Now, on to my questions...

Why the wide variety of "covering" for women?
Why no handshaking between people of the opposite sex, even in business settings?
I don't understand the language references - Wsalam, Salam, etc.
What do the references in parenthesis after the prophet's name mean?
How do you decide at what age to cover your female children?  Why the wide variety in this category, too?

This is all I can think of right now.  I hope I haven't stepped on anyone's toes or offended anyone.  Thank you for taking the time to respond.
Greetings
Caraj
07/12/05 at 21:31:45
Hello GrannyT, I'm not here to answer your
questions. I'll leave that to the more wiser folks on the board.
I just wanted to welcome you to the board.
Hope you'll enjoy being here. I came to the board about
gosh nearly 3 1/2 to 4 yrs ago.
Came with many notions and thoughts due to the media and movies.
Many I learned were not correct.
Knowing the folks here on the board I know you'll be
warmly welcomed and all questions answered.
It is much respected and appreciated when a person
choses to educate themselves rather than allow on the movies and media
as many times they are not correct.
Welcome GrannyT
welcome
jannah
07/12/05 at 22:36:09
hi granny,

welcome to the board :)  how many grandkids do u have!!

i am so sad those are the contacts you have had with islam... it's a pity that the most contact the majority of americans have with islam is through stereotypical movies and books!!!

no offence but i can't stand that movie Not without my daughter!!! no doubt stuff like that has happened in real life and sally fields is a great actress but there were so many prejudiced wrong things in there attributed to islam!! i mean they just dramatized everything and made it so unrealistic. there are tons of american women married to middle eastern men and they are extremely happy.. yes of course there are freaks... but this movie doesn't show it as a 'freak thing'

now those book(s) by jean sasson are absolute fiction... i wrote a post once about it... she was being sued by another middle east author (a nurse working in egypt) because she stole the story from her.  this so called princess doesn't exist and all the rest of the stkries about her daughter etc were completely made up so she could make more money. and the things portrayed in that book are completely wrong and antithetical to islam...they made me sick reading them and again i'm sure they do happen as 'freak things' here and then in history but they aren't part of the society nor islam!!

i am so glad you are here so you can ask real muslims about islam :) so on to your questions..

why cover?

well muslim women are required for many reasons and wisdoms to cover everything but their hands and their face in modesty in front of non-related men... this can be in any fashion or design so you will see this vary quite a bit across the muslim world with scarves and robes in the middle east.... long shirts and pants in india/pak.... long shirts and skirts in southeast asia.. (some women also take an extra step to cover their faces, this is considered extra by most scholars of islam)

so muslim women cover when they go out like to work or wherever, but they don't cover in their homes or in front of other women... i'm not sure why your convert friend didn't uncover in front of you.. maybe there were other ppl around?

no handshaking... well in islam men and women who are not related to each other do not touch each other... this is considered disrespectful to the woman who has the right not to be touched or seen fully (hair etc) except by those closer to her... ie her family/husband

salam means "peace" in arabic

wsalam is a shortcut for walaikum salam which means "and peace be upon you" this is the greeting of muslims when they meet each other.. there are longer versions as well

once girls hit puberty they are required to wear the hijab (scarf)... some girls don't depending on their faith/peer pressure/secular values etc.  it is the choice of the girl to cover, but it is required in the religion... some follow it, some don't for various reasons

the thing after the prophet's name means "peace be upon him".. we use this after the name Muhammad as a respect thing... we also add it for other prophets like Adam, Noah, Moses, Jesus, etc

i wrote an islam101 thing a while ago... please check it out and let me know what you think!!

http://www.jannah.org/islam101


thanks for asking your questions and please continue to ask and tell us more about yourself!!!

take care,
jannah

 
07/12/05 at 22:41:59
jannah
Questions/Introduction
GrannyT
07/13/05 at 22:39:12
Thank you very much for the responses!

I am married to a wonderful man (this is a second marriage for us both) and between us we have six children (he had three; I had two; we had one).  He adopted my older two after the birth of our son and they have always referred to him as "dad" and to their biological father as just that.  He was an abusive person and they do not have fond memories of him, even though they were only 2 and 5 when we split.

My husband's two older children have a total of five children - three girls and two boys.  My daughter is the only one of my children married (although she's also married to an abuser and has filed for divorce) and she has a little boy who just turned two.  His name is Isaiah and he's my little joy!  They live across the country from me so I have to content myself with pictures and phone calls.  My two older children are in the military and she'll be coming home on leave in late August so I'll get to see them again.  She'll be getting out in July 2006 and coming back home to live with us while she finishes her degree and gets a job.  She'll be able to help me out at home and I'll be able to help her out with Isaiah.

My step-children have their own lives but we do see my step-daughter and family very regularly.  We don't get to see my oldest step-son and family very often, but the younger step-son just lives a few blocks from us so he's here with my son quite frequently.  We have a great relationship with my husband's ex-wife and her husband. They've been like second parents to all of my children and she refers to MY grandson as also her grandson, so that's nice for all concerned.

My husband is disabled and we have to hire work done around the house.  My fence is falling down, I need my house painted, and guttering fixed, etc.  It will be nice to have my daughter here to help. My youngest son is 18 and although he tries, he's really not much help.  He missed out on all the instructional stuff from his dad growing up because my husband's health has been bad for several years.

I'll be 49 in late August (my husband is 57) and I work as a technial writer, writing/editing software documentation and help files.

I think that's enough about me for now.  I greatly appreciate the warm welcome and the answers to questions.  I would like to learn more language and more customs.  

Why no pork?

When the prophet pointed to the hands and face and said only those should be uncovered, could he have meant the head in general and not the face in specific?  

I agree the Muslim covering should draw no more attention than Nuns or the Amish/Mennonite people.  I think it gets more attention because of the unrest in the Middle East.

I will at some point ask questions about the war, terrorism, acts of terror against Muslims, and feelings regarding it but I will do my best to phrase them so as to not offend.

Thank you again.

GrannyT
hi
Maliki-Sis
07/14/05 at 17:48:27
" Why no pork? "

Pork is unclean, and I think even modern research has shown that it is in fact very unhealthy and harbours more bacteria than any other.

the bible also states that meat of swine is unclean:


[quote]"If we move down to verse 8, we read:

"The pig is also unclean; although it has a split hoof, it does not chew the cud, You are not to eat their meat or touch their carcasses."

There is a whole section dealing with the clean and unclean animals, and if anyone is interested, they can find this section at Deuteronomy 14:3-21.

Now, the "Infallible Word of God" says that pig meat is forbidden to the people of God. Okay, but why do I see Christian sects everywhere permitting the consumption of pork and forbidden foods? Can it be that they are not following the words of their teacher in 2 Timothy 3:16, that: "All Scripture is God-breathed, and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness"? Or can it be that the Christians are not the people of God"[/quote]

Also: [url=http://www.al-morrin.co.uk/islam/viewarticle.php?id=10]Questions from a Christian[/url]
07/14/05 at 17:50:39
Maliki-Sis
Welcome
Kathy
07/14/05 at 21:11:44
Hi Granny!

Welcome to the board. God willing, you will find the answers you are searching for... and some you did not even know you had!

I always wonder how effective the statement "pigs are unclean' work for the average American. While there are many filthy hog places, many are just as spotless as most back yards.

Every major religion tells us not to eat pork. We don't really know the reason why, God just tells us not to. I don't just because of that. He knows everything, He has told every people not to, so i just figure He knows something I don't!

The "Not Without My Ddaughter" had a big impact on my life. It use to bother me because I did see Muslims who acted like the Hubby and his family. One day when discussing it with a friend, she reminded me that there is a SOS shelter in every city in America. I then realized it wasn't unique to them Arabs!

It is interesting about your question about the pointing to the hands and face. I remember asking all these same questions. I became a Muslim in 1987. Thank God. Anyway, you are right, this is what happened. When we read the history folling these words, we found that eventually women, living during his time, did cover everything except the hands and feet. My guess, if this was not right Muhammad, peace be upon him, would have corrected the ladies!

Don't worry about offending us... we have been asked these and a million questions. If you want to ask a question that you feel is too personal, please feel free to Im me, I am your age, but have an 11 year old!


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