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| wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| sumayah |
| 08/30/05 at 15:13:26 |
| Asalaam Alykum, I am the only one in my family that is Muslim. I don't really speak with my father's family. However I am very close with my mom and she was very happy when I became Muslim even though she is not herself. My question or concern is what if she dies I am the only she has, is it ok for me to go to her funneral. She is not a religious person ans what if she wants to be cremated what do I do then? Sumayah [ :-) |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| Maliha |
| 09/01/05 at 09:36:16 |
| [slm] hmm..instead of worrying about her death for now at least, why don't you pray for her guidance while she is alive? It is awesome that she is so supportive and open, and you are so close! Mashaallah, may Allah increase the love between you. You can share your journey with her, or inspirational verses from the Quran, and gently *show* her with love and compassion what Islam is all about. Ultimate guidance is not in our hands, and we don't have the power to seep the love of Allah in people's hearts...but we could be good examples and pray a lot for our loved ones and Inshaallah leave the rest to God. With your good intentions for her, Inshaallah you will be rewarded. May God open her heart to the Truth and may you become a beautiful embodiment of daughterly affection and light for her. (amin). Take care of yourself and her:) [wlm] |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| Maliha |
| 09/01/05 at 09:38:04 |
| [slm] PS: don't call her Kufur/Kafir...it just seems like you already made your mind for her. Maybe someone who is need of Guidance? :-* [wlm] |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| Siham |
| 09/01/05 at 16:14:54 |
| [quote author=Nur_al_Layl link=board=lighthouse;num=1125425606;start=0#2 date=09/01/05 at 09:38:04] [slm] PS: don't call her Kufur/Kafir...it just seems like you already made your mind for her. Maybe someone who is need of Guidance? :-* [wlm][/quote] "Someone who does not believe that the followers of a religion besides Islam are unbelievers (e.g. Christians, Jews), or doubts that such a person is an unbeliever, or considers their sect to be valid, is himself an unbeliever (kafir) even if he manifests Islam and believes in it" - Imam An-Nawawii" On the last note this is indeed a general statement, is on one side of the scale and the only way, the scale could be balanced, is if we put the sayings of other scholars which are different to this quote on the other side. Furthermore I think our own opinions, interpretations and self rationalizing remarks, mean nothing in comparisons to what the scholars have already decided on. and please lets remember that Allah has given the best forgiveness for their kufr, which is the guidance from Allah to the Deen of Al-Islam. |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| sumayah |
| 09/01/05 at 17:06:44 |
| Asalaam Alykum, I did not mean to offend anyone so I apologize if I did. I love my mother very much but she is very old and I was just trying to get some information. Thank you, :-) |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| Marcie |
| 09/01/05 at 21:22:05 |
| As salamu alaykum Sumayah, I understand where you are coming from and one never knows what will happen tomorrow, so it is good to be prepared. Â To be honest I do not have an answer for you, but I would suggest that you talk with an imam and follow his advice. Â Make as much dua as you can and insha'Allah, she will also become a muslim. [wlm] Marcie |
| 09/01/05 at 21:23:06 |
| Marcie |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| Siham |
| 09/02/05 at 19:15:27 |
| [quote author=sumayah link=board=lighthouse;num=1125425606;start=0#0 date=08/30/05 at 15:13:26]Asalaam Alykum, I am the only one in my family that is Muslim. I don't really speak with my father's family. However I am very close with my mom and she was very happy when I became Muslim even though she is not herself. My question or concern is what if she dies I am the only she has, is it ok for me to go to her funneral. She is not a religious person ans what if she wants to be cremated what do I do then? Sumayah [ :-)[/quote] Assalam Alaikum, Dear sis Sumayah, I hope this answers your question in sha Allah :-) Source: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=2091&CATE=168 Attending the Funeral of a Non-Muslim Relative Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani Can I attend the funeral of my non-Muslim relative? Walaikum assalam, Yes, it is permitted to attend the funeral of a non-Muslim parent, relative, neighbor, or associate. One needs to avoid attending their religious ceremonies, however. It is mentioned in al-Bahr al-Ra'iq, by Zain al-Din Ibn al-Nujaym, the great Egyptian Hanafi faqih's 7 volume commentary (the 8th volume was authored by another scholar after the former's death) on Imam al-Nasafi's Kanz al-Daqa'iq,acommentary considered one of the very best in the school and used very extensively by Ibn Abidin in his works: "And one may follow their [i.e. a kafir's] funeral from afar..." (al-Bahr al-Ra'iq, 2.205, Dar al-Kitab al-Islami) The very same is mentioned by Imam Kamal ibn al-Humam, the Hanafi mujtahid who was a teacher of al-Suyuti and others, in his Fath al-Qadir (2.132, Dar al-Fikr ed.) Imam al-Kasani mentioned in his Bada'i` al-Sana'i`:"If a non-Muslim close relative dies, there is nothing wrong with a Muslim to... follow his funeral and bury him, because children were... ordered to keep their company with excellence, for Allah Most High said, "Keep their company in this life with excellence," and from righteousness is to wash him, bury him, and shroud him [f: if no non-Muslim is found to do so, and to follow his funeral in general]." [1.302-303, Ilmiyya ed.] And Allah knows best. Wassalam, Faraz Rabbani. |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| sumayah |
| 09/03/05 at 13:48:15 |
| Asalaam Alykum, Thank you very much sis Siham, you have been very helpful. Thank you for the web site. May Allah bless you and reward you. Masalaama, Sumayah :-) [] |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| jannah |
| 09/03/05 at 13:59:52 |
| slm, sister siham i think you jumped to quite a conclusion with that hadith. sister nur was not making any conclusions about anyone's kufrness or not, she just suggested that the original poster not focus on that and call her mother that. the term kafir/kufr can be a perjorative negative term to many people. to keep thinking of her as the 'kufr mom' etc is not right. one should have respect for their parents even if they are not muslim. (and no one obviously is saying she is muslim) mawlana mawdudi has a treatise on the liguistic meaning of the word that goes into 10 different meanings of the word. and indeed in the quran sometimes it means simply someone who is not a muslim, sometimes it means one who actively fights against islam. sometimes it means someone who has been given everything about the faith and has absolutely refused it. so if you call someone a kafir, it could mean someone like Abu Talib who actively helped his nephew and who the prophet [saw] was with till the last moment holding his hand or it could be someone like Abu Jahl who actively tried to kill the prophet [saw]. so please, let's leave the technical law term kafir to the realm of the scholars and focus on what is in our realm - dawah and our relationship with our family and the people around us. |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| Siham |
| 09/04/05 at 18:20:34 |
| [quote author=sumayah link=board=lighthouse;num=1125425606;start=0#7 date=09/03/05 at 13:48:15]Asalaam Alykum, Thank you very much sis Siham, you have been very helpful. Thank you for the web site. May Allah bless you and reward you. Masalaama, Sumayah :-) [][/quote] [slm] Jazaka Alla Kheir sis, U most welcome :) ;) |
| 09/04/05 at 18:21:31 |
| Siham |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| Halima |
| 09/05/05 at 02:44:06 |
| [slm] To be honest, Sis Nur_al_Layl has given a very good advise. Ultimate guidance comes from Allah (SWT). Sis Sumayah, don't give up yet and her age is nothing if Allah (SWT) decides to guide her to the right path. Try as much you can to help her see with recitation from the Qu'ran and leave the rest to Allah. She is your mum and needs the best care you can possibly give her regardless of her faith. Please be there for her. I am humbled by your love for her. May Allah guide you both, INSHA-ALLAH. And I wish you all the best and you will be in our prayers. [wlm] Halima |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| Siham |
| 09/05/05 at 10:53:34 |
| [slm] I've found additional information, I hope this is helpful as well in sha Allah. The Necessary Qualities of a Da'i by Abu Ammar Convey what you have received from me, even if it is a verse [Sahih al-Bukhari, Muslim] 1. The intention of the da'i should be to please Allah Ta'ala and not for any other reason e.g. riya (showing off). 2. The da 'i should have as broad a base of knowledge as possible. (S)he should read the Qur'an and the Hadith with commentary, also the Ihya 'Uloom ad-Din by Imam Hamid Muhammad Al-Ghazali (D 505 A.H). (S)he should understand not only why we should believe in Allah but also why Allah has sent prophets down. Comparative religion books are also of great benefit. These are just some pointers. 3. When the da'i begins da'wah(S), he should be constant in it. Results often take place only after some time, and so one should be aware of the stamina and efforts that are required. 4. The da'i should be aware that da'wah will test them with many situations that will demand patience, politeness and kindness. 5. When the da'i contacts the mad'u, (One who is invited), (S)he should keep up the contact. The power of supplication (du'a) should also never be underestimated. The da'i should persist in du'a, that Allah keeps the mad'u upon the Sirat al-Mustaqim and gives the mad'u strength to face all challenges during this period. The Muslims in general should always pray to Allah that non-believers will embrace Islam. The da'i should also be able to recognise the abilities and qualities of the mad'u. Praise of their abilities and qualities will soften the mad'u's heart and make them readier to listen. 6. The da'i needs to use wisdom and tact, for example, when informing someone not to continue in a prohibited act. This is not as easy as it seems, particularly today, when many people have come to regard some of the disliked or prohibited actions as simply ordinary so cannot understand any objection to them. Hikmah (wisdom) is required to make people see the error of their ways. It also takes hikma to recognise who will want to or be able to stop immediately and who will need a more gradual approach. 7. When the da'i approaches the mad'u, (S)he should find out what their interests are and make conversation with them around that point. The conversation can be supported by the provision of appropriate pamphlets, books and videos. Many people are very interested in sport - Islam can easily be introduced into the conversation since many sports personalities have embraced Islam, (such as Muhammad 'Ali, Mike Tyson), although few actually know that their sports heroes are Muslims! If the da'i recognises that the person who they are talking to has a scientific mind, the da'i could refer to the writings of Maurice Bucaille and Harun Yahya who have done much service to Islam in this area. If the da'i is speaking to people belonging to the Afro-Caribbean community, he can link his conversation to Islam by talking about Malcolm X. If the mad'u is a woman, the da'i should provide them with the booklet 'Why British women are turning to Islam?'. If one reflects, there are many ways to begin a conversation before easing Islam into the discussion. The above are just a few examples for consideration not a fully comprehensive list. 8. The da'i should provide literature to the mad'u according to their interests: - A doctor could be given Maurice Bucaille's 'The Bible, the Qur'an and Science; - A lawyer could be given books on Islamic Law; - An interest in comparative religion could be met with the videos of Ahmed Deedat, Jamal Badawi, and Hamza Yusuf; - A spiritually minded ma'du could be given 'The Way of Muhammad' of Shaikh 'Abdal Qadir al-Sufi and the literature of Shaikh Nuh-Ha Mim Keller and their videos. A number of organisations provide free literature on a wide variety of subjects, including those mentioned above. Search around your local and distant community for such organisations. 9. A da'i approaching a mad'u should have the intention to convey the message of Islam not the intention to debate/embarrass/insult the mad'u. It is not a matter of winning or losing since if it were, the mad'u would spend more time concentrating upon defending himself rather than listening to the message that is being conveyed. Sometimes a da'i can win the debate but lose the mad'u. One day, Imam Abu Hanifah came across his son Hammad debating with someone. After he had finished, Imam Abu Hanifah approached his son and informed him that it was not permissible to debate. Hammad was very surprised and asked his father: "I see you every day debating with non-Muslims. If it is not allowed why do you do it?" His father replied: "There is a difference between the way I debate and the way you do. The way I debate is permissible because my intention is to please Allah and convey the true message, not to please myself. When I saw you debating, you were not delivering the message but were trying to win the argument. You were pleasing yourself and not Allah Ta'la. When I am debating, I do not make eye contact with the person, since if the person is struggling to provide answers to my questions, I do not want them to feel any shame as this might be a barrier to them taking in the message." (Preface of The Hidaya, by Mulla Ali Qari) 10. When the da'i approaches the mad'u, he should correct misconceptions. For example: when talking to a Christian, he could mention how the Qur'an makes numerous references to Mary and Jesus. Indeed there is a whole chapter on Mary in the Qur'an, the only woman who is mentioned with such a high status. This would make them curious and want to read the Qur'an to see for themselves what Allah has revealed concerning it. If necessary, he could talk about the points where there are disagreements between Islam and Christianity - such as the Bible being the word of God, the trinity, the crucifixion of Jesus, atonement etc. He should then provide literature that contains answers to these areas, such as the Izhar al-Haq of Maulana Rahmatullah Kairanvi (may Allah be pleased with him) or the videos or pamphlets of Sheikh Ahmad Deedat. 11. The da'i should be generous and hospitable, not miserly and reclusive. Hospitality is a very effective way of performing da'wah. If you have been very hospitable but the mad'u has not yet accepted Islam, the da'i should not become angry or disheartened because it is only Allah Ta'ala who has the power to change the hearts of people. It was the custom of Prophet Ibrahim to eat with a guest. One day, while sitting with a guest, he began talking about the oneness of Allah to which the guest remarked that he did not believe in this. This made Ibrahim so upset, he asked him to leave - before they had eaten the meal. Soon after, the angel Jibreel came to him with a message from Allah Ta'ala: "Ibrahim, why did you become upset, and prevent your guest from eating the food? I have been providing his food for 60 years and he has not listened to me but I am not upset." At this Ibrahim went out to find the guest and reinvited him for a meal. The guest questioned his motives and Ibrahim recounted the visit of Jibreel. The guest returned for the meal and was so impressed that he embraced Islam. (Qasas al-Anbiya', chapter on Prophet Ibrahim) 12. The da'i should talk to the mad'u according to his intellect and understanding, without overloading the ma'du with information but at the same time making steady progress. 13. The da'i should be friendly and easily approachable so that the mad'u feels at ease around him/her and not afraid to ask questions. The mad'u should never feel under personal attack. 14. The da'i should not be afraid to say, 'I don't know, but I will find out for you.' No-one is expected to know everything. 15. If the mad'u becomes a Muslim, it is the responsibility of the da'i to teach him/her the basic teachings of Islam and to bring them into contact with other Muslims. In this way Allah Ta 'ala ensures they are protected, in good company and guided on Islamic matters. If the da'i approaches a mad'u who accepts the invitation of Islam, there is a great reward from Allah Ta'ala. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, told 'Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, that if a non-believer becomes Muslim as a result of one person's da'wah, the reward for that da'i is so great that it is better than the world and all it contains. (Sirat al-Nabi, chapter on Khaybar, by Hafidh Ibn Kathir) 16. When Muslims are giving internal da'wah, they should start by providing an example to others. They should be role models who embody the teachings of Islam, internally as well as externally. They should be soft and kind-hearted to their brothers and sisters and help in any way that they can. |
| 09/05/05 at 10:55:58 |
| Siham |
| Re: wh to do wit kufur mom if dies |
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| Siham |
| 09/05/05 at 10:57:26 |
| Da'wah with Friends Daud Mathews How could a Muslim convert a friend to Islam? Is there a way to help a friend convert or at least get them to listen about Islam through the internet? First, let me point out:Muslims do not convert anybody. Allah decides who becomes or who does not become a Muslim. All what we can do is to give information and call to Islam. The Qur’an clarifies this in Surah 28, verse 56: "It is true you will not be able to guide every one, whom you love; but God guides those whom He will and He knows best those who receive guidance." As for terms of giving information on Islam, first we need to build up a relationship with the person. It seems you already have that. So, he/she knows what type of person you are; whether you speak the truth, if you are a sincere friend or not etc. Only when you have established a friendship can you start to talk about a person’s problems. One way is to see if your friend has any problems and whether you can help. You can simply find solutions in the Qur’an and sunnah (example of the prophet). Another way is to find out: what your friend thinks is the purpose of life? The Qur’an tells us explicitly that Man has been created to worship Allah, the Creator of existence. You can read this in Surah 51, verse 56: "I have only created jinn and mankind that they may worship Me." Or, how does your friend think mankind originated? Is there a Creator or not? How does one know there is a God? We cannot see God, but we can see His creation all around us. The Qur’an refers to His creation as signs of His existence and ability. So, we see Allah by His signs. Again, what does your friend think happens after death? The major anchor of any belief system is the object of worship. In Islam, Tawheed (the Oneness of God), is the key factor. It is usually better to start with the Oneness of God, when you talk about Islam. If a person believes in One God, then this is half of al-shahadah (the testimony of faith in Islam). If they believe in that, then you can continue with the pillars of Islam. These are, in fact, the outward manifestation of our faith. Then, there are the six pillars of Islam; among which is our faith in the unseen, for example. However, things are unlikely to progress so fast. Then you have to explain to them the prophethood and life of Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu alayhi wasalam). You need here to approach their rational and convince them of his prophethood and that the Qur’an is the divine word, from Allah, not anyone else. Generally, the person begins to raise various issues. If they are from a Christian background, they will raise their concept of God and of Jesus. It is better to give the Islamic concept of God, followed by the Islamic concept of prophethood before talking about Jesus in Islam. Then, rather than listen to what they say about Jesus, ask them to read, or read to them, Surah 19 from the Qur’an. Ask them whether the Qur’anic account appeals to them more than the Biblical account? You may need to discuss the concept of original sin and that there is no inherited sin in Islam. On the contrary, Islam clearly holds to the idea of original innocence. Personally, I do not recommend Muslims to get involved with comparative religion. This is unless they are really experienced in talking to non-Muslims. Islam stands on its own. The Qur’an and sunnah are consistent. By adhering to them, we do not get confused nor do we confuse others. Let others argue against the Qur’an and sunnah and let us see how their argument would stands up! You can always draw their attention on some aspect of Islam through many points, among which are the following: 1) Mentioning a book you have recently read on Islam and a specific point from it. 2) A passage from the Qur’an, inviting their comments. 3) Something which has happened recently in the world and the Islamic perspective of it. 4) Some comments on another religion, comparing it with Islam, without offending the ‘other’. 5) Family values. 6) Moral values. 7) Surah al-Asr (103) and the value of time. Surah al-Ikhlas (112) and Who is Allah (God)? And lastly how prayer (salat) is a dialogue with the Creator, relating that to Surah al-Fatiha (1), the opening chapter of the Qur’an, along with hadith Qudsi (divine hadith), which did state such idea clearly. Now, most important: do not criticize, do not try to score points. The whole idea is to adopt the role of a doctor talking to a patient. Understand the patient, get the patient to trust you, get the patient to tell you their problems, then diagnose and give the solutions from the Qur’an and sunnah. Be patient… Plant a seed of love for Allah. Then, create the fertile ground for the seed to grow. You need to know that it could take years… Send one or two articles - at the most - on Islam to your friend. These can be downloaded from Islamic Internet websites. Use the best possible and most decent language. Speak with wisdom, not with fanatic love. Make sure you answer their questions truthfully and honestly. If you do not know the answer, say so, find out and then get back to them. Make sure never to be overbearing or pushy. They need to take the decision on their own. Always remember: “It is their decision.” Your intention has to be sincere. You are calling to Allah. You are not calling for what you think or for yourself. It is not your brand of Islam. You are following the practice of Muhammad (pbuh) and that means you are letting Allah - through the Qur’an - do the talking for you. This is as well as Prophet Muhammad, through his sunnah. Always know that if you tell them something, which is not right, they will be able to find out. When they do, they will not trust you. Then, you will never be able to get them to believe you. Also, it does not give a positive impression when you yourself say one thing and do something differently. Your life has to match what you are calling to. That means you have to live Islam. Here, you have to be careful who your friends are. It is obvious if you have good friends you will be seen differently than if you have bad friends. May Allah bless your efforts in His way and help you increase your knowledge and practice of Islam. May this make you successful in this life and in the life of the Hereafter. Ameen. |
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