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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| How's life? |
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| Trustworthy |
| 09/14/05 at 13:23:03 |
| [slm] As for me, well....I went to Pakistan and got married. I was only there for 5 days and 3 days belonged to the wedding. You want to see my wedding photos? He he he....the bride in it don't look like me at all. Kind of wonder if it was really me? May be not the real me. Then we tried to get him a Visa and he got rejected. So we tried again and rejected for a second time. Later on, I find out that I am on the "Watch List"...go figure with my big mouth and being anti-Bush. And Asif is a Pakistani. The US thinks Pakistan is hovering (holvering or whatever that stupid word is) Al-Qeada camps. I guess that's a sign for me that things aren't going to work out. I decided to divorce him. We've been divorced for a month plus now. Married 5 days and that's it. That must be a new Islamic record, huh? You guys told me not to get married. I really should’ve listened. I guess you knew me better than I know myself. You know me, I was going to do what I want to do anyways even if I ask for the advice. That’s my biggest problem and possibly my only problem if I ever stay married. Not like I loved him anyways, he knew that. He loved me though and pressured me into marrying him when I wasn't ready to get married. It wasn't fair to him if I kept him hanging so I cut the strings and let him free even though he didn't want to go. Funny thing is.....I am ready to get married now. I so want to settle down with someone I love and he loves me back. I have to believe in love first. That’s definitely going to be a tough one. I'm feeling a little empty and lonely. May be it's the aftermath of the divorce....I don't know. I'll get over it like I always get over life mistakes. Just keep myself busy and I'll forget about stopping to smell the flowers. You know something......I don't think I ever did smell any flowers. I love orchids, but I don't think they have a fragrance. May be I should stop by a flower shop and test my thought out when and if I have the time. Nah....I have lot more better things to do then to sit around and smell orchids or flowers or whatnots. Ha ha...what nonsense was I speaking of? Really. Still afraid of getting married though.....I don't know what it is. Whatever!! Get over it and move on right? Right. So that’s what’s been happening with me. Please make du’a for me. I so need it right now. Jazakh… for listening. Allah (SWT) bless…. Ma-assalaamah….. |
| Re: How's life? |
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| UmmWafi |
| 09/16/05 at 07:01:50 |
| [wlm] Dearest Sis Would it be very presumptuous of me to offer you a great big hug ? No..my hug is not a pity hug. It is a hug from a sister who feels very deeply for you :) Hows life with me ? Very crazy. Sometimes I feel that the only way for me to live through each day is by breathing in nothing but His Mercy. Alhamdulillah...His Mercy is Boundless...Inshallah. PS I pause to breath in the scent of flowers once ina while. Its rather therapeutic :) Wassalam |
| 09/16/05 at 07:03:08 |
| UmmWafi |
| Re: How's life? |
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| Fozia |
| 09/16/05 at 12:50:23 |
| [slm] I'm so sorry you've had such hard experience. How are you feeling about it Sr??? Do you have any way of finding out why you are on the US watch list, is every single anti-Bush person on this list, if so it must be incredibly long. Orchids do have scent, it's very faint and not as sweet as a rose's but a scent it has nonetheless. Love & Duaas |
| Re: How's life? |
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| Kathy |
| 09/17/05 at 13:22:45 |
| [slm] I am so sorry for what happened. Why did you give up after only 5 days? You did not want to be with your husband in Pakistan? I can hear the boys laughing,,, see we were right... it must have been a fake marriage after all.... Anyone know how we can find out if we are on the watch list? |
| Re: How's life? |
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| SisterHania |
| 09/17/05 at 16:23:40 |
| [slm] Not too sure how the boys knew they would be right. You can't predict anything, if Allah wills then it will happen! Only Allah knows what is good for you in this life. I am sorry about your marriage but if you did istikhara then it seems that Allah is protecting you from something that would not have been good for your faith. Instead inshallah he has something better for you, if not in this life then in the next. Don't settle for anyone because you feel lonely. Marry someone because you are compatible in terms of faith and charachter. And above all have patience and be steadfast in your prayers. Allah answers all of them, it may not be when you want but he does answer them. Try an involve yourself in mosque work in your community until then. It will free up your mind and not make you think of things too much. Thats the secret, don't think of things too much or you worry. Trust in Allah and remember that you are never lonely because he is always with you. He is closer to you then your jugular vein and is your most intimate friend. :) ma'salam |
| Re: How's life? |
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| Fozia |
| 09/18/05 at 07:36:19 |
| [slm] Just remembered a hadith. During the lifetime of the beloved Prophet (saw), a woman was married, however when her groom came to her, she found she did not like him. So she asked for and received a divorce, the Prophet (saw) asked her to return her Mahr (which she did), and the marriage was annulled. Think that was the record Sr. Wassalaam |
| Re: How's life? |
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| Trustworthy |
| 09/19/05 at 16:37:03 |
| [slm]... Jazakhumullah for all of your du’as and replies. May Allah (SWT) bless you all with the best khair insha Allah. Ameen. I am feeling better about it now. I guess my question really was “what happened to my istikhara?” Did I do it right? Before accepting his proposal, I prayed 4 times consecutively each night and waited until I got an answer. Then before deciding to go to Pakistan to get married, I prayed another one. And Mom was so against it, but it somehow worked out that I went with her approval. I thought everything was good. His first rejection was from the invitation visa I told you guys about. I did everything right. Their reason for his rejection was because they believed that once he got to the US for a visit then he would never leave after. His second rejection was an actual denial. I paid an immigration lawyer this time to do all the work and we worked on this for 3 months after I came back from Pakistan. The reason was that Pakistanis coming from Pakistan has been restricted to only business affairs and known officials and whatever…..and that is even hard to pass through immigration. They don’t tell the public that because they want to have them keep on applying and pay for the application fee etc which is like $120. That does not include anything else. The US is trying to get all the Americans out of Pakistan and won’t let anyone else enter. I got in fine though. SO I really don’t know what kind of game they’re playing. The lawyer said that we could fight it, but it would cost me more like $300 and hour more. So I prayed istikharah and the feeling I got was the best thing to do was divorce. So when I said, 5 days, I meant we were together for 5 days in Pakistan and then 3 months thereafter apart. I don’t want to move to Pakistan. I don’t want to live there as I’ve only lived here all my life. If I was going to move anywhere, it would probably be Mecca or Medinah in my old age where I can spend the rest of my days solely repenting. Insha Allah. Here’s the number that they gave me to call to get myself cleared from the “No Fly List” but not off the watchlist if I’m truly not supposed to be on the watchlist. You guys can call too to check to see if you are on it as well. They are open 24/7 including holidays. If you want to know you’re on the watch list, buy a ticket online and then try to get it through the ticket machine. If your name does not appear on the screen or you’re having trouble, it’s a sure thing you’re on the list even if it is within the states. You can go to this site for more info. http://www.tsa.gov/public/display?theme=157&content=09000519800fb8af I’ve always had the trouble with the machines and re-entering the states, just recently within the States…after 7/7…and I always thought it was because I’m Muslim and wear a hijab. Don’t matter, it’s the name. Still didn’t think of it until it hit me that even when I do travel with a group of my Muslim friends and their names are Muhamed (first or last), I’m the only one that has the problem. I’m afraid to call them because I don’t want to open up a can of worms…you know like an investigation or something….not that I have anything to hide, but I just don’t want the FBIs, CIAs, or TSAs coming to house and freaking my mother out. She’s absolutely paranoid because she is old. Sis Fozia? What does the hadith have to do with me? Allah (SWT) bless….. Ma-assalaamah…. |
| Re: How's life? |
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| Fozia |
| 09/20/05 at 06:31:54 |
| [quote author=Trustworthy link=board=bebzi;num=1126714984;start=0#6 date=09/19/05 at 16:37:03] [slm]... Sis Fozia? What does the hadith have to do with me? [/quote] [slm] You thought yours was a record short marriage, I figured I'd better point out it wasn't. Was trying to help actually, you sounded so unhappy. For what it's worth, I don't think you did the Istikhara wrong, if you got the feeling that marrying your fiance was right after istikhara and then to divorce afterwards. I assume it was the best for you, even if right now you can't see it. Certainly does sound like, if you'd have continued trying to get your husband into the States, something would have come to a head. I cannot believe, they see fit to treat Muslims in such a manner for no reason other than our religion...and they call [i]us[/i] terorrists. Am wondering now how many of us on the board are on the watch list?? Take Care Love & Duaas |
| Re: How's life? |
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| Trustworthy |
| 09/21/05 at 00:16:35 |
| [wlm]... Jazakh....Sis et all for everything. You take care too.... Allah (SWT) bless... Ma-assalaamah.... |
| Re: How's life? |
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| Aadhil |
| 09/21/05 at 01:02:50 |
| [slm] That watch list is a big joke. My boss's daughter has been on the watch list since she was two. Like I said it's just a crazy joke... [slm] |
| Re: How's life? |
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| Caraj |
| 09/22/05 at 22:35:28 |
| [quote author=Fozia link=board=bebzi;num=1126714984;start=0#7 date=09/20/05 at 06:31:54] Am wondering now how many of us on the board are on the watch list?? [/quote] I think 2 or 3 of my cats are on that list :-/ Sister Trustworthy if must be a bit weird to find out one is on such a list. So wierd ey? Sorry to hear about you Pakistan adventure, may Allah make things easy for you. We have got to get together Sis, here we are less than an hour and a half apart and we have not met :'( Maybe soon inshallah as to me folks, well I am just enjoying this granddaughter of mine. She just turned 2 and is a feminine miniture of her daddy (my oldest son) We spend 2 to 4 times together a week. We feed critters, bake things (she loves to help grandma stir things like cake batter, etc) I think she is the sweetest thing on this earth. My other son settled in nicely on the east coast, bought a home and loves Baltimore. I am sad yet happy that he is happy and content. I get cell phone pics regularly of my dear grandson and he is walking like crazy and only 11 months old :o Inshallah I'll get to visit them soon. I miss them all so much. My son calls me almost daily. But he always has even when living here. :) I am going back to school as I have decided it was time for a career and I posted about it in another post and no one answered :'( My future husband and I discussed it last night (Yes I did say future :ohusband inshallah details to be posted at a later date. ;)) We talked and I decided to go for both the Naturopathic and midwifery studies. Both will take me 2 years each, I am hoping to complete both in 3 years. OK folks whats the update on y'all??? Kathy whats new with Ali? Hows school going for him? |
| 09/22/05 at 22:36:12 |
| Caraj |
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