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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Future husband already monitoring activities? |
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| Anonymous |
| 09/15/05 at 11:55:28 |
| salaams i'm talking to a man about marriage and we have known each other a few years but now that we're talking marriage he seems to be more critical of what i say and do and he was not like this before is this a warning sign of things to come. he use to gently suggest things if he felt i needed guidance and now that i'm future wife he is more critical and it is causing me doubts and making me want to cancel plans. maybe he doesn't realize he is being harsher. |
| Re: Future husband already monitoring activities? |
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| Kathy |
| 09/15/05 at 16:46:53 |
| [slm] Take it as a red flag. A critical man will only get worse after marriage. |
| Re: Future husband already monitoring activities? |
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| Siham |
| 09/15/05 at 18:18:07 |
| [slm] The Prophet [saw] said: "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption[7]." This hadith illustrates the importance of choosing a man with faith. However, many times women marry men who are difficult and abusive. Thus the Prophet [saw] said, "Religion and Character." This is an example of what the scholars refer to as a khas begin taken from the 'Aam. This is done in order to show something's importance and status. Therefore, character is part of religion; however, the Prophet mentioned it separately in order to illustrate its importance. Source:http://www.sunnipath.com/Resources/Questions/QA00005391.aspx Hope this helps. wassalaam. |
| 09/15/05 at 18:23:09 |
| Siham |
| Re: Future husband already monitoring activities? |
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| pearl |
| 09/15/05 at 22:47:40 |
| [slm] I agree with Kathy. Being hyper-critical is definitely a red flag. Usually, when a man is comtemplating marriage, he's on his best behavior, striving to please his intended wife and avoiding negativity. If he is critical and controlling now, how will he act when you're married? ??? Pearl |
| Re: Future husband already monitoring activities? |
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| cougarmuslimah |
| 09/24/05 at 13:14:51 |
| Asslamalakum I agree with the others that this can be a red flag however have u tried talking to him and letting him know that he is being this way. Sometimes if you talk about these things and if he really wants to marry you then maybe he will try to work on himself if he is truely interested in marrying you. If nothing improves after you talk with him then I would suggest taking things as a red flag and praying to Allah (SWT) about this and deciede what you feel is right in your heart. I hope this helps. May Allah bless you with guidance and help. Ameen. Wa' Alakum Asalam Sister Aisha :-) |
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