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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| What would you do? |
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| bhaloo |
| 10/11/05 at 23:52:21 |
| [slm] So I started this new job 2 days ago, it's 55 miles away from my home and with high gas prices, can you say sheesh kabobs? And there is a masjid I found 8 miles from there, so I went there the last 2 days. Now this brother I met there, was telling me about his situation and how he is going through a divorce. Then he tells me he got payed but wants to cash the check and asks if I would do it for him and give him the money. (Keep in mind this is a completely new Muslim guy I met and that in the past Muslims have been part of scams). Anyways he wants money instead of depositing it into a joint account with his wife, as she will then be entitled to the money under the court. How would you handle this situation? ??? |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| jannah |
| 10/12/05 at 00:03:05 |
| [wlm] Just say you're uncomfortable with doing it sorry, and don't want to get in trouble for it later. Like you think they'll track you down and act all paranoid and stuff and start talking to yourself... j/k on that last bit ;) Cause really maybe his wife and kids are entitled to it. And if you cashed it for him then you would be depriving them of that. And if he wants to do something not right then you shouldn't let yourself get involved and be the means for it on the day of J. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| bhaloo |
| 10/12/05 at 00:22:32 |
| [slm] [quote author=jannah link=board=madrasa;num=1129085541;start=0#1 date=10/12/05 at 00:03:05] Just say you're uncomfortable with doing it sorry, and don't want to get in trouble for it later. [/quote] He'll probably hate me for it, eh? and not want to be friends? ??? |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| jannah |
| 10/12/05 at 00:26:30 |
| do you want friends or do you want hereafter!!! he's not dumb... obviously the 200 other brothers there didn't go for it, so of course he's gonna try it on the new guy... |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| bhaloo |
| 10/12/05 at 00:29:51 |
| [slm] I was the only other brother there, he said he asked another brother but that brother said he was working all day. What I was wondering is there some more "politically correct" wasy of saying, "No, can't do it" ? ??? |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| theOriginal |
| 10/12/05 at 01:14:57 |
| [slm] You can't find a politically correct way of saying "no"...because then it sounds like a "maybe", and then if he's a good talker, he could sway that to a "yes sir, right away". And why doesn't he just open up a new bank account. In his own name. I'm sure that's really easy to do in the west (I can't remember, it's been too long). Wasalaam. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| Caraj |
| 10/12/05 at 02:43:05 |
| Bro Bhaloo, please don't do this. It sounds way to bogus, not to be critical. He can open a new account, he can go to a check cashing place. Reading your story, it has WARNING all over it. I too don't think there is any politically correct way to turn him down. However if he has admitted his wife is intitled, then is there not a Quran verse you can share with this brother about withholding from one what is rightfully theirs? Make him angry or please Allah and do what is right? Bhaloo, I don't mean to sound critical but I know you already know the answer to this one in your heart. |
| 10/12/05 at 02:44:45 |
| Caraj |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| Kathy |
| 10/12/05 at 09:47:30 |
| [slm] Well it is fishy, because why doesn't he just go to one of those check cashing places? Double fishy, because a bank can't tell some one what to do with their check. He can cash it, but not deposit it. Now for the scams. People ask you to cash their check, you do and give him the check, then a week later you find out the check didn't clear and you are out the bucks. I would just tell him that the goverment is watching every Muslim and you don't want the IRS on your back for this money that you did not report earning. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| timbuktu |
| 10/12/05 at 10:17:38 |
| [slm] definitely a scam, it is called the Nigerian scam, I believe. Someone on the net has made a hobby of scaming the scammers. I forget the link, but the stories she tells are hilarious. Just decline politely, and if he persist tell him it is against the law to pester someone. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| vball |
| 10/12/05 at 10:41:18 |
| how about telling him to go home to his wife and ask forgiveness and be a better husband and father to his children. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| lala |
| 10/12/05 at 11:16:15 |
| [slm] bro, dont do it. You'll feel bad and guilt but in the end sometimes you just have to say NO. He can go to a check cashing place and cash it.... I"m sure they have those in California? I've done some stupid things out of guilt - and in the end lost lots of loot because of it... Dont do it! You're a trusting guy, but its the nice-ness that gets people. Just stay out of it. Do something nice to someone else if you feel bad. Go feed some people or something. But dont do this! Much love salaam |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| Siham |
| 10/12/05 at 11:33:16 |
| [slm] Perhaps, you can tell him something like e.g. I’m really sorry but I do not wish to get involved in these kind of matters/affairs, but surely if there is anything else that I can help you with, please do not hesitate to ask insha’Allah. Moreover, this may well be an opportunity for you to advice him that a Muslim man is obliged by the Sharia to support his wife and children, even in a case of divorce, a husband still need to treat his wife kindly and let her go gently. Hope this helps insha’Allah. wassalaam. |
| 10/12/05 at 11:34:02 |
| Siham |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| bhaloo |
| 10/26/05 at 20:55:28 |
| [slm] Well let me give you all an update on what happened, subhan'Allah! About the cash checking places, he went to one across the street and they said they would charge him 10%, and so he didn't want to do that. The next day he tells me that it's been taken care of (I guess he meant someone had helped him). I did find it a little odd that when we prayed in jamaat in the masjid he didn't join us, though once I led the prayers and he prayed with me. I did feel a little guilty in not giving him money, I mean if we look at the example of the companions (ra), they would be willing to give their wealth, and in some cases even offering their wives to another Muslim. There was such brotherhood, but in these days, where can one find such brotherhood? ??? Anyways, yesterday, as I was leaving the masjid, one of the brothers called out to me and said did you give that other brother money. I said no, he said good, he said that he scammed the imaam of the masjid out of $3000. Subhan'Allah, all of this happened in the month of Ramadan, a time when the major devils are chained. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| jannah |
| 10/27/05 at 00:32:15 |
| slm, arshad the thing is we don't live in the time of the prophet [saw] where the companions were the best of generations. if you lived among them i'm sure you would have done what they did.. ie give half your wealth etc. we should go out of our way to be generous and help our brothers and sisters within our means, but i think we should safeguard ourselves so that we're not taken advantage of and our money goes to those who deserve it most. after all, if we give our money to an obvious charlatan won't Allah question us about it later on? like if someone asks me for money i wouldn't hesitate in giving them a little something which i think is right b/c i just can't read in the quran "if someone asks you then give" and not do that. but for the bulk of my zakat etc i only give to reputable agencies or spend it where i know it will go to benefit people. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| Anonymous |
| 10/27/05 at 09:55:10 |
| >>>>>>>>I did feel a little guilty in not giving him money, I mean if we look at the example of the companions (ra), they would be willing to give their wealth, "and in some cases even offering their wives to another Muslim". There was such brotherhood, <<<<<< In the above quote from br.Bhaloo's post/thread i found a bit disconcerting, can someone explain this statement (part in quotation marks) to me please? |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| theOriginal |
| 10/27/05 at 11:25:00 |
| [slm] Yeah, like anonymous, I find it a little odd too... But I have learned to accept that I know nothing. And maybe that time has rolled around when I must take a little madina break. Wasalaam. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| jannah |
| 10/27/05 at 12:39:36 |
| [wlm] there is a story about when the muhajaroon moved to madina, they were quite penniless and friendless, so the prophet [saw] teamed them up ... like one muhajaroon and one ansar would then become buddies/brothers. so one of the ansar was so generous he told his new 'brother' that he would give him half his wealth, his house, and one of his wives etc. The other responded that it was quite ok, just show him where the marketplace was and then he went there and started doing business and earned his fortune that way. Anyhow, whether that ansar would like divorce his wife and marry her to him is kind of questionable. I think it's more like a very generous gesture and probably an arabism thing. Even today ppl say some weird things.. like i heard in some places if ur at someone's house and then u don't eat the host might get mad and say 'w'Allah if u don't eat i'll divorce my wife' as a hyperbole (which btw isn't right to say for fiqh reasons but anyway) Anyhow that's the background. I think it's to illustrate how much they were willing to sacrifice for one another and as bhaloo said their generosity. |
| 10/27/05 at 12:41:47 |
| jannah |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| sal |
| 10/28/05 at 15:48:06 |
| I would not help another person if there is any hesitation ,as this means the consequence is not free of risk Help should be with full pleasure and satisfaction so in this story if I were you I would not do it |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| Siham |
| 10/30/05 at 17:35:31 |
| [slm] In addition to the story that has been mentioned there is also another story where one of the Companion Sa3ad (r.a) said to the Prophet [saw] "Wallahi if I find a man with my wife, I will kill him." and then the Prophet [saw] said: "I have more ghira than you and Allah SWT has more ghira than I do. Which actually indicates that the Prophet [saw] said that he himself had jealousy in the sense of guarding and protecting something important to him. (ghira, is an Arabic term and its commonly translated as jealousy) wassalaam. |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| bhaloo |
| 11/01/05 at 00:33:03 |
| [slm] [quote author=jannah link=board=madrasa;num=1129085541;start=10#13 date=10/27/05 at 00:32:15] we should go out of our way to be generous and help our brothers and sisters within our means, but i think we should safeguard ourselves so that we're not taken advantage of and our money goes to those who deserve it most. after all, if we give our money to an obvious charlatan won't Allah question us about it later on? [/quote] They are Muslims, or at least claiming to be. If they maybe are in our company and observe our behavior and actions won't that insha'Allah rub off on them? ??? |
| Re: What would you do? |
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| Fozia |
| 11/01/05 at 09:04:34 |
| [slm] Br Bhaloo, you sound really sweet, and it's nice to see that there are people who would feel as you do, guilty even when the circumstances do not seem completely above board. My take is that even though the person is Muslim, one should not allow onself to be taken for a ride. As this does not help the other person, and it's certainly not helping you. Handing a cheque for that amount to the Masjid would have gotten better results, as the person asking for the favour was clearly not deserving of your generosity (nor the Imaams). I do go out of my way to be uber helpful to people, more so if the person I am dealing with is a Muslim, but I refuse to be taken for mug. Every penny that I have is hard earned (as is most peoples). I don't think it can be considered mean on your behalf to hold on to your money when you feel the person asking for your help is not being honest with you. Some times it takes a shock to bring a person to the right path, a thief IMHO deserves one to wake him up to reality, he cannot continue life in this vein....... Wassalaam |
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