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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Islam and Anger |
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| Siham |
| 11/02/05 at 11:17:41 |
| Assalamu Alaikum, Dear Members, I thought I post this here, so perhaps people could benefit from it insha'Allah. ==================== Allah Ta'ala says: "And those who swallow anger and those who forgive people, Allah loves the righteous" Rasulullah (saw) said: "Do not become wrathful." "A powerful man is not one who defeats (another) in physical combat. Verily, a powerful man is he who controls his nafs at the time of anger." The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down...Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendants of Adam." In another narration it appears that a strong man is he who controls his anger. It is essential to keep anger undedr control. One should never act spontaneously in accordance with the dictates of anger. On the contrary, anger should be made subserviant to the instruction of the Shariah. It is natural to be aroused in the state of anger. Such natural propersity is not rebukeable. But, Allah Ta'ala has endowed man with violition (ikhtiyaar will-power). Anger has therefore to be controlled since it is within the scope of man's volition to do so. Failure to exercise this volitional power is contrary to insaaniyat (humanity). There are many reasons for the inclusion of anger in the natural attributes of man. Along with the quality of anger Allah Ta'ala has endowed man with the ability to control such anger to ensure that the latter is not misappropriated an dunjustly employed. Shussah in itself comes into motion involuntarily. It is utomatically activated. But, acting in accordance with its demand is voluntarily, hence refraining form it is likewise voluntary. The remedy for a volitional act (the way of curbing it) is nothing other than the exercise of one's violitional power to bring about restraint and control. This is within one's ability even if one experiences a degree of difficulty in the exercise of such volition. Repeated exercise of the volition of restraint weakens the demand of anger. In consequence, refraining from anger becomes a relatively simple task. The following narration appears in the hadith shareef: "The qadhi (judge) should not decide between two parties while in anger." The judge or the ruler is not permitted to issue a verdict while in anger, but should postppone the trial or case for a later date. The term, qaadhi in the context of this hadith applies to every person having authority over people. The instructor, teacher and head of a family all fall within the purview of this hadith. They should not be hasty in meeting our punishment to their subordinates while in the state of anger. Those in authority should remember that Allah Ta'ala is the defender of the rights of those who have no defender. Allah Ta'ala will demand from the aggressor the rights of the oppressed. According to the Hadith Shareef, Allah Ta'ala and Rasulullah (s) will claim from the tyrannical ruler the rights which he usurped even from his non-Muslim subjects. It is therefore imperative to exercise caution when punishing. In cases of injustice executed in the state of anger, it is essential that the aggressor, after his anger has subsided, publicly apologise and humble hismelf in the presence of the one whom he has wronged. The aggressor should personally apologise in profusion and seek the pardon of the one he had wronged. This measure will restore the intellience of the aggressor to equilibrium. He will thus be prevented from the perpetration of the injustice at the behest of anger. At all times refrain from haste. One has to strive greatly in opposing the dictates of anger. Whenever one succumbs, resort to istighfaar and obtain the perdon of the one whose rights have been violated. Recite: Aoodho billahi min ashaytan nir rajeem. When overtaken by anger; sit down if you happen to be standing; if you happen to be sitting then lay down. Make wudhu with cold water or drink cold water. Divert your attention by immedialtely engaging in some other activity, especially reading which is very efficacious in curbing anger. If all this fail to eliminate the anger, withdraw from the presence of the one who is the target of your anger. Hadith: "Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry he should perform wudhu (washing done before payer)." Remember that Allah Ta'ala has greater power and authority over you and that you are also disobedient to Him. Should he also adopt the attitude of Wrath with you, what will be your condition? Also reflect that nothing can happen without the Will of Allah Ta'ala. Ponder then: Of what worth am I? I am an absolute none-entity. How can I then act in conflict with Allah Ta'ala? |
| 11/10/05 at 18:12:54 |
| Siham |
| Re: Islam and Anger |
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| Siham |
| 11/07/05 at 10:16:04 |
| [color=Black]Swallow Your Anger Then Digest It Excerpts from the book Ocean of Unity Sheik [i]Nazim Al-Qubrusi[/i] "For those of us whose physical bodies are "over the hill", by this I mean over the age of fifty or so, we must face the fact that, no matter how well we look after ourselves, our physical powers are gradually deteriorating: step by step we are approaching death. But as for our spiritual condition, there is no such limit, no age when powers are at their maximum, then recede. Spiritual power may continue to grow strongly throughout our lives, but we must seek out conditions conducive to that continuing growth, and weed out those qualities which threaten to choke the precious plant. One of the most harmful weeds, the most inimical to our spiritual growth is the anger generated by the vanity of our egos. When anger rages it engulfs the light of faith, transforming in into fire. The light of Faith is the pure light of God, but when it is transformed into fire it no longer illumines, it burns. When you find yourself overcome with anger you must quickly run to a mirror and behold your own face. That ugly spectacle will be enough to calm your anger: for who wants to look like the devil himself? When a person is angry his actions are satanic - destructive and self-destructive. Our Grandsheikh stressed the necessity of abandoning anger, for when the ego's anger dominates a person he may readily deny even the sovereignty of God, and put himself in rebellion against the Overwhelming One - and that is very dangerous. Anger also wreaks havoc on our physical bodies, causing illness and premature aging, especially when a high level of anger is maintained over a long period of time. Very few people can turn back anger when it assaults them. This is why so few people advance spiritually. The reason that anger is so difficult to defeat is simply because it is an intrinsic part of our physical and spiritual constitution. Anger corresponds to the element of fire in our make-up, which is a balance of fire, water, earth and air. Only those who are trained from a very early age by enlightened parents or teachers will have learned to keep these elements in balance. As for most people, each of these elements may predominate on different occasions according to exterior circumstances and intrinsic propensities, setting the equilibrium off center. Fire flares up in the face of provocation and teasing, aggression or attempts to subdue the will (of the child). Since these occasions are usually frequent in our early lives, we are all adept at getting angry, and from a very early age. Our Grandsheikh also suggested that we perform a special Dhikr (prayer-meditation) at night in order to gain the upper hand in our struggle against anger. When you arise in the last third of the night to perform supererogatory prayers, after performing your ablutions, start by turning your face to the House of God and implore Him to aid you in your attempt to subdue anger. Then repeat one-hundred times. "Ya Halim" which means "Oh (God, who is) Forbearing and Slow to Anger" This name, al-Halim, is a Divine attribute of God which He wishes to bestow generously upon us, should we seek to receive it. The first step is to ask God, in this manner, to help us become forbearing; then we must meditate on that Divine Attribute, that it may be absorbed into our being. We are literally calling it upon ourselves. Next we must adopt a practice in our everyday lives that will further our purposes. This practice is, simply, not to show anger, even when you feel it welling up inside. Don't spit that anger out at those around you and poison the atmosphere, like a fire-breathing dragon. Hold it in, but not like a lump of undigested food; no, you must digest it. A certain amount of anger is part and parcel of every personality. Without some of that fire in our constitution we would die; therefore, it is possible for us to digest a certain amount of anger without suffering adverse side-effects. Of course, if we were to remain unchanged over a long period of time and swallow the same amount of anger, we would overdose; but that is not the case, for in time our intake of anger decreases as we learn, and are granted the ability not to react angrily to provocation in the first place. So, just as a baby initially drinks great quantities of milk, then graduates to solid food, decreasing its milk consumption drastically, we can swallow and digest anger, in the full knowledge that other forms of nourishment are soon forthcoming. If you can manage to refrain from showing anger for forty days, you will have passed a great milestone. When it assails you, you must evade it, and when it is going to issue from you, you must swallow it. If you can successfully avoid it for forty days, anger will begin to assault you less frequently: once every forty days. If you can manage to keep yourself in this manner the initial forty days, and thereafter, in the face of forty more assaults (forty periods of forty days, a little more than four years), Satan will announce to his helpers: "Don't bother attacking that person; you are just wasting your time and energy. His defences are impenetrable: one thousand attacks are just as futile as one. Leave him alone, he has escaped from our hands". Satan's helpers are the selfish ego, vain desires and worldliness: these are our four great enemies, and whoso learns to control his anger will be victorious against these base influences. Whenever you feel anger arising you must be aware that you are being tested. Such tests are sent your way from the spiritual world in order to ascertain your trustworthiness. Disliked events are sent from that realm so that you may have the chance to forbear, and thereby advance toward your goal. If there were not some benefit to be found in anger it would not exist. The benefit is found in being patient in the face of it. Without passing this test there can be no improvement. Forbearance is a key to Divine Stations, and that key is forged by facing odious events with patience and controlling our anger. So, anger is a two-edged sword: if you can grasp its handle firmly you may rent the veils that blind your heart's eyes, but if it is in the hands of your enemies your faith will be severed."[/color] |
| Re: Islam and Anger |
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| bhaloo |
| 11/08/05 at 01:04:38 |
| [quote author=Siham link=board=library;num=1130944661;start=0#1 date=11/07/05 at 10:16:04][color=Black] Excerpts from the book Ocean of Unity Sheik [i]Nazim Al-Qubrusi[/i] [/quote] Siham, why do you keep advocating the sufi Naqbashandi agenda on here (at least articles from them, people that have said some strange things)? Why do you go to extremes trying to misguide people from the path of Islam? Hisham Kabbani is a student of Nazim Al-Qubrusi and has been exposed and refuted on this board a few years back. I'm not going to go to the trouble of doing this here, as it has already been done, but if anyone wants information on the problems of Kabbani email me. So many Muslim organizations denounced him a few years ago, when he attacked the masjids in the US and said over 80% are run by extremists, and attacked the honor of Muslim women in Europe. Here's just a few articles on Kabbani's problem: http://www.islaam.net/main/display.php?category=37 As for Nazim Al-Qubrusi, there is a sufi organization in the US that has put a book together saying that Nazim Al-Qubrusi negates Islam (you can google it and read the book online, i'm not going to mention the link to the book, because the organization has problems themselves, and i haven't verified their statements (they cite from Nazim's books (at least they claim it is his) some really strange things ), but the fact is that many sufi organizations are against Nazim's teachings. So why do you try to advance this agenda on here? Why do you continue to violate the rules of the board? ??? |
| Re: Islam and Anger |
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| Miss_Mona |
| 11/09/05 at 19:36:12 |
| Salaam, Barak Allah feeky ya Siham, many Muslims would seriously benefic from Anger Management courses. Take care, :-) Peace, Mona. |
| Re: Islam and Anger |
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| Siham |
| 11/10/05 at 16:44:21 |
| [slm] U most welcome habibty ;) More on Anger: Understanding Anger Jean Beck RN; ACNP. These are comments and thoughts about anger that may assist you to understand and parent your child. In some situations you may want to seek brief professional help to process some of the more difficult situations that are not responding to your parenting. 1. Anger often covers hurt and pain. 2. It is easy to become absorbed in the angry acting out behavior because it is hard to see the hurt. 3. Many children stuff hurt upon hurt to a point they don’t know what upsets them. They become distanced from feelings and believe nothing is bothering them. Their unclaimed hurt seeps through when they become upset, blowing up out of proportion to what appeared to be a very minor event. 4. Teenage depression may be covered by angry, irritable behavior. 5. Boys who have been physically abused when young often act out their anger without knowing where it is coming from. As they grow older the abuse stops so the child figures it is in the past, over. The physical hurt has stopped but not the emotional hurt. It is important to help a child process their perception of what occurred, how they internalized blame and how to rebalance the past in relation to the present. This usually requires some professional assistance but can be very helpful. 6. It is important to identify any sources of hurt and anger that a child clings to as they grow older. The reprocessing of a child’s perspective can be more fully understood once they are adolescents. 7. Once a teenager understands his past and what really occurred they are usually able to regroup and develop skills to manage and make healthy self-worth choices. 8. Young children think concretely. They are not able to abstractly understand all the facets of what may have occurred in a situation. The child is unable to understand why others would want to hurt them so they often assume they must have done something to cause their hurt. They blame themselves which ultimately effects their self-esteem and belief in themselves. Once events are re-clarified, a teen can re-evaluate the part this event played in their low self-esteem and begin to see their real self-worth. 9. Anger is normal, healthy if it protects self-worth and is used appropriately to assert oneself versus acting out anger aggressively or hurting others. 10. Angry voices can be scary to kids. Children have super radar and know when parents are fighting or not getting along. Expression of anger and resolution of conflict is healthy and teaches a child how to deal with anger. If the child only hears the fighting they often are secretly afraid. 11. As a parent when you are angry allow time to defuse. When everyone is calm, re-discuss the situation with input from all about how it could have been handled better. This is not to say parents can not set limits and not all events need discussing. 12. As a parent, how you manage your anger will be a model for your child. Jean Beck is an Advanced Clinical Nurse Practitioner with expertise in working with psychiatric disorders in children and adolescents. |
| 11/10/05 at 21:04:13 |
| Siham |
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