A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Topic in Akwhat section |
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| Kathy |
| 11/17/05 at 17:42:36 |
| [slm] As salaamu alaykum Brothers, Please read the Newly Wed Problems in the Sister section. On the flip side, if the reverse was true... How would you advise the Brother if his virgin wife would not give him his marital rights? He wants to be married, but she is scared to death and has moved back home until 'she feels comfortable' and it has been a couple of months. |
| Re: Topic in Akwhat section |
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| Siham |
| 11/18/05 at 19:41:50 |
| Wife is unwilling to consummate Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari I have recently gotten married, however I have not consummated my marriage. Is my marriage still valid? What shall I do? I feel that my wife does not wish to have intercourse. In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our Beloved Messenger, his family, companions, and those who follow them. Dear Brother, Your marriage is still valid. However, your wife's lack of interest in intercourse is something which both of you should address. This is a sensitive topic, and because I don't know exactly why your wife has not consummated the marriage with you, I can only give you general advice. I know that your feelings may be hurt, but please try to avoid arguing with your wife. Instead, why don't you sit down with her and gently and tactfully broach the subject. Ask your wife what you can do to set her at ease so that you can proceed with marital intimacy. Ask her what's on her mind. Find out what her concerns are. Some Muslim women, especially if they come from certain cultural backgrounds, may go into marriage not knowing very much at all about physical intimacy. Your wife may be feeling embarrassed, or uncomfortable, or she may even fear that she will be hurt in the process. Your job is to allay her fears and assure her that you will be kind, loving, and gentle. Try to spend as much alone time as you can with your wife. You don't necessarily have to talk about this particular situation all the time. Just try to foster intimate, loving communication with her, and in sha'Allah, she may be receptive to other things. Try to do things that she finds relaxing, whether it's going somewhere nice together, spending a quiet evening at home, or whatever you think she might find enjoyable. And keep in mind that it's always important for a husband and wife to pray and remember Allah together. This can also bring you closer. If none of the above works for you and your wife still avoids intimacy, then it is time for you to take your wife to a marriage counselor. Your wife might have some deeper concerns that would best be addressed by a professional counselor. Whatever the case may be, remain patient and ask Allah to open your wife's heart to you. And Allah knows best. And Allah alone gives success. Umm Salah (Zaynab Ansari) |
| 11/19/05 at 14:12:35 |
| Siham |
| Re: Topic in Akwhat section |
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| Siham |
| 11/19/05 at 14:12:06 |
| Can I delay giving up my virginity until my husband loses weight? Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani Please forgive for the nature of my question. I recently married but have not yet consummated marriage. I love my husband very much, and I look forward to consummating our relationship. However, I know that it won''t be enjoyable for me the first time, and my husband needs to really lose weight. So is it ok for me to hold off giving my virginity to him until loses weight? Or does this count as being disobedient? May Allah reward you generously. Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah, I pray that this finds you well, and in the best of health and spirits. May Allah grant you all good and success in this life and the next. Under normal circumstances, one's spouse's excess weight is not a justifiable reason not to give them their right to sexual fulfillment. (This is true for both men and women.) Do it for the sake of Allah; for the sake of the marriage; and in order that it be a means of bringing the two of you closer together. As for your husband's excess weight, it is probably best to deal with this together, as a couple, in a positive manner. And Allah alone gives success. Faraz Rabbani Source: Sunnipath.com |
| 11/19/05 at 14:13:05 |
| Siham |
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