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| The Art of Being English! |
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| bhaloo |
| 11/17/05 at 22:47:49 |
| [slm] Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour by Kate Fox http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0340818867/002-7797086-8775269?v=glance&n=283155&n=507846&s=books&v=glance Here is some analysis of the book (the analysis is not by me but by someone that I highly respect) and really has some great insight. I'm sure Kashif, Br. Khalid, Abu Khaled, Hyper, Fozia, and all the other Brits will find it rather amusing. :D This is a funny, witty and accurate look at the rules of being English, written by social anthropologist Kate Fox. It offers many insights into issues that are questioned by most people who have had even the most minimal contact with the English; Why do they seem cold and unfriendly? What is with their fixation with the weather? Whey are they always apologising? I know some people will be especially interested in this last question, so from the book: [Kate Fox did an experiment where she bumped into people on purpose and counted the number of times THEY apologised to HER for it; in the last couple of paragraphs detailing her findings she says:] [quote] You may be wondering why the English seem to assume that any accidental collision is our fault, and immediately accept the blame for it by apologising. If so, you are making a mistake. The reflex apology is just that: a reflex, an automatic, knee-jerk response, not a considered admission of guilt. This is a deeply ingrained rule: when any inadvertent, undesired contact occurs (and to the English, almost any contact is by definition undesired), we say 'sorry'. In fact, any intrusion, impingement or imposition of any kind, however minimal or innocuous, generally requires an apology. We use the word 'sorry' as a prefix to almost any request or question: 'Sorry, but do you know if this train stops at Banbury?' 'Sorry, but is this seat free?' 'Sorry - do you have the time?' 'Sorry, but you seem to be sitting on my coat.' We say 'sorry' if our arm accidentally burshes against someone else's when passing through a crowded doorwya; even a 'near miss', where no actual physical contact takes place, can often prompt an automatic 'sorry' from both parties. We often say 'sorry' when we mean 'excuse me' (or 'get out of my way'), such as when asking someone to move so we can get past them. An interrogative 'Sorry?' means 'I didn't quite hear what you said - could you repeat it?' (or 'what?'). Clearly, all these sorries are not heartfelt, sincere apologies. Like 'nice', 'sorry' is a useful, versatile, all-purpose word, suitable for all occasions and circumstances. When in doubt, say 'sorry', Englishness means always having to say you're sorry. [/quote] It is the kind of book that will make the English smile as one does when reading an amusing but accurate analysis of their own character, and that will make the non-English finally understand the peculiarities, inconsistencies, and apparent hypocrisies of English behaviour. |
| 11/17/05 at 22:53:37 |
| bhaloo |
| Re: The Art of Being English! |
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| bhaloo |
| 11/17/05 at 22:52:54 |
| [slm] There is a section on the rules of Humour, in which one finding is that the English have a 'good sense of humour' but are not easily amused; their sense of humour is 'keen, finely tuned...irony-saturated.' She also said that a common complaint of foreigners is that they find it very hard to tell when the English are joking and when they are serious, and don't always understand the jokes anyway. Here is another funny part where she talks about the rules of public transport. [Quote] It is common, and considered entirely normal, for English commuters to make their morning and evening train journeys with the same group of people for many years without ever exchanging a word. The more you think about this, the more utterly incredible it seems, yet everyone I spoke to confirmed the story. [/quote] To explain this, one of the people she interviewed said (echoing the typical response of the other interviewees): [Quote] Once you start greeting people like that - nodding, I mean - unless you're very careful, you might end up starting to say "good morning" or something, and then you could end up actually having to talk to them. [/quote] And the problem with this was that [Quote] if you did it once, you might be expected to do it again - and again, and again: having acknowledged the person's existence, you could not go back to pretending that they did not exist, and you could end up having to exchange polite words with them every day. You would almost certainly have nothing in common, so these conversations would be highly awkward and embarrassing. Or else you would have to find ways of avoiding the person - standing at the other end of the platform, for example, or hiding behind the coffee kiosk, and deliberately choosing a different compartment on the train, which would be rude and equally embarrassing. The whole thing would become a nightmare; it didn't bear thinking about. [/quote] And the only exceptions to this are: 1) When you have to speak to them to be polite (eg saying 'excuse me' to get past them). 2) When you have to ask information (eg, 'Is this train going to Paddington?') 3) When you have to moan as a reaction to some problem with the transport system/delay announcement that has just been made etc. But after all these things happen you have to go back to believing and acting like nobody else exists. |
| Re: The Art of Being English! |
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| Kashif |
| 11/18/05 at 04:26:30 |
| assalaamu alaikum Both of these are spot on! If someone said hello to you on the train you would regard it as an extraordinary event. You'd probably mention it to your wife when you got home:"You know this morning, i was on the train and this guy said 'good morning' to me. He must be weird." haha (that last part was a joke) One of my "hiding" and people-avoidance techniques is to sit in the carriages towards the left of the train because the exit at the station i get off is at the right of the train, hence, if i sit on the left there is less chance of a potentially embarrassing encounter with someone i half-know. ;) Kashif Wa Salaam |
| Re: The Art of Being English! |
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| Fozia |
| 11/18/05 at 07:26:00 |
| [slm] I was going to lunch one afternoon and the girl I was with was really into whatever it was she was saying, Her 'Blah blah' Me 'er yeah riiight er' her 'blah blah' me 'yes but mind' her 'blah blah' bang she walked into the lampost Both of us wincing 'Sorry' her to the lampost and me to her for umm I am not totally sure really... Wassalaam |
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